yesterday was truely wonderful. scott had everything planned. he cooked me a delicious dinner, and looked after me all day. i didnt have to lift a fnger, for which i was so grateful. I felt like crap, with a severe head cold, which now has started to ease and at least my voice has returned, even if i am still al little croaky.
We went for a walk thru the laines in brighton, looking at all the xmas lights. it was like strolling thru diagon alley. so romantic.
today we met up with a friend of mine from sydney, who was visiting relatives in brighton. was nice to see a familiar face from sydney.
And tonight we have been given some more wonderous news, in that we have managed to play with our rosters and are off to barbados together. YAY!!! so we get a romantic layover in the sun for 24 hours.
that also will mean i have a few more days off at the other end.. although scott is still working NYE and i still havent found a way to be on his trip. but im holding on to the fact we will find a way.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
speechless
Had a fantastic trip to Miami. crew were fantastic, everyone worked together as a team, with no slackers, and everyone was in an great mood.
we had to shut off the entertainment system halfway through the safety video due to refuelling, so with no notice we were told to do a manual demo. before i knew it i was standing in front of the entire cabin, doing a manual safety demonstration, i only realised what i was doing as a was standing there with an oxygen mask fastened over my face (vast improvement i might add), i was so in automatic mode the fast i was doing my very first one was almost lost on me.
about halfway through the flight, out of no where, i completely lost my voice. no idea why. i think i have a head cold, but the only symptom was a slightly stuffy nose and loss of my voice. was so funny, i sounded like a drag queen on crack. i would get half way thru a sentence to passengers and then it would go completely and nothing would come out.
got a bit tipsy when crew had a few drinks after we got to the hotel, and went to bed to rest the throat.
next day i had to walk 20 blocks to the nearest pharmacy to stock up on a handful of different remedies just so i could have a voice for the flight home. otherwise i would not have been fit to operate the flight (cant work if i have no voice for safety reasons) but luckily it was loud enough to fly, even if i was all raspy sounding.
had some severe turbulence on the way home. was standing in the galley and next thing you knew, my feet actually lifted off the floor....only slightly, but enough to make me realise how quickly turbulence can hit. its weird how turbulence can feel so bad down the back in the galley, but be completely smooth at the front of the plane.
just before landing, i did manage to spill an entire jug of orange juice all over myself.. from my stomach to my shoes. i was amazed at how water resistant my uniform is, as most of it just wiped off and my pants were dry. thankfully.
well, its xmas day.... missing my Friends and family but so happy scott and i are getting to spend our first xmas together....even if i am sick.
got some amazing gifts from scott. i got a new watch, with dual time (so very donna jensen from view from the top)
and got a roboquad robot.
but best of all....... scott bought me the naming rights to a star!!!! how amazing is that.. he even gives me the stars. now i just have to think of a name and then pick a star from the available list and officially name it. its the most wonderful and romantic gift anyone has gotten me.
he has also made me breakfast of smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels and champagne, which is what i have every xmas with mum back home so he has really gone all out to make my xmas a special one and no so homesick.
next trip coming up in a few days to nairobi...and scotts off to barbados. not sure if we will have new years eve together.. as scott will be away, and im off. so i may end up sitting at home alone on new years eve... oh well.. xmas sure has made up for it.
we had to shut off the entertainment system halfway through the safety video due to refuelling, so with no notice we were told to do a manual demo. before i knew it i was standing in front of the entire cabin, doing a manual safety demonstration, i only realised what i was doing as a was standing there with an oxygen mask fastened over my face (vast improvement i might add), i was so in automatic mode the fast i was doing my very first one was almost lost on me.
about halfway through the flight, out of no where, i completely lost my voice. no idea why. i think i have a head cold, but the only symptom was a slightly stuffy nose and loss of my voice. was so funny, i sounded like a drag queen on crack. i would get half way thru a sentence to passengers and then it would go completely and nothing would come out.
got a bit tipsy when crew had a few drinks after we got to the hotel, and went to bed to rest the throat.
next day i had to walk 20 blocks to the nearest pharmacy to stock up on a handful of different remedies just so i could have a voice for the flight home. otherwise i would not have been fit to operate the flight (cant work if i have no voice for safety reasons) but luckily it was loud enough to fly, even if i was all raspy sounding.
had some severe turbulence on the way home. was standing in the galley and next thing you knew, my feet actually lifted off the floor....only slightly, but enough to make me realise how quickly turbulence can hit. its weird how turbulence can feel so bad down the back in the galley, but be completely smooth at the front of the plane.
just before landing, i did manage to spill an entire jug of orange juice all over myself.. from my stomach to my shoes. i was amazed at how water resistant my uniform is, as most of it just wiped off and my pants were dry. thankfully.
well, its xmas day.... missing my Friends and family but so happy scott and i are getting to spend our first xmas together....even if i am sick.
got some amazing gifts from scott. i got a new watch, with dual time (so very donna jensen from view from the top)
and got a roboquad robot.
but best of all....... scott bought me the naming rights to a star!!!! how amazing is that.. he even gives me the stars. now i just have to think of a name and then pick a star from the available list and officially name it. its the most wonderful and romantic gift anyone has gotten me.
he has also made me breakfast of smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels and champagne, which is what i have every xmas with mum back home so he has really gone all out to make my xmas a special one and no so homesick.
next trip coming up in a few days to nairobi...and scotts off to barbados. not sure if we will have new years eve together.. as scott will be away, and im off. so i may end up sitting at home alone on new years eve... oh well.. xmas sure has made up for it.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
the top 6 things that are annoying me about flying
thought i would have a good vent and get it all out of my system. Here are the top 6 things that get on my nerves about passengers so far. they are really in no particular order since it depends on the day as to what annoys me more.
1. People who start pressing their call bells before they have even sat down, wanting this that and the other. how about waiting until we are airborne and able to access the galleys before asking for the world.
2. after walking down the aisle handing out UK landing cards and saying in a clear loud voice, landing cards for the UK are required by anyone who does not have a UK or European passport, and then having all Americans on the flight think that this does not apply to them. perhaps they think that either they are exempt from any immigration policy around the world because they are American, or they just don't realise that American is not part of Europe.
3. people who wait until you have walked 3 rows past them before deciding that they do want coffee. or better yet, when asked if they want coffee they wait until you have half pours the cup before asking...is that Tea??
4. passengers that respond when asked...Orange Juice or Water.... answer yes please... and when you ask which one do you want.... they either get stumped, like it was a life threatening decision and they simply cannot choose due to absolute fear of making the wrong decision.... .or that they point to the OJ and say water. (whats ever worse, when you have a jug of either as and if they want oj or water and say to you no but ill have a coke... like youve have stored one up your arse just in case somsome should want one.
5. when you walk down the aisle with a coffee pot in one hand and a serving tray in the other, and someone asks you to take their meal tray. how many hands do they think you have.
6. passengers who try to have an indepth conversation with you, whilst wearing their headphones, and wait until you have finished a lengthy explanation about something before removing their headphones and asking you to repeat what you have said.
hats off to all flight attendants around the world, because its a hell of a lot harder than it looks. and to all those who think that we are just waiters in the sky... well there is so much going on behind the scenes, that if thats all you are seeing, then we are doing our jobs well.
ok, rant over... los angeles was nice.. despite the flights there and back being hell. still tired and jetlagged, but i have 2 days to get over that before im off again. yay.
1. People who start pressing their call bells before they have even sat down, wanting this that and the other. how about waiting until we are airborne and able to access the galleys before asking for the world.
2. after walking down the aisle handing out UK landing cards and saying in a clear loud voice, landing cards for the UK are required by anyone who does not have a UK or European passport, and then having all Americans on the flight think that this does not apply to them. perhaps they think that either they are exempt from any immigration policy around the world because they are American, or they just don't realise that American is not part of Europe.
3. people who wait until you have walked 3 rows past them before deciding that they do want coffee. or better yet, when asked if they want coffee they wait until you have half pours the cup before asking...is that Tea??
4. passengers that respond when asked...Orange Juice or Water.... answer yes please... and when you ask which one do you want.... they either get stumped, like it was a life threatening decision and they simply cannot choose due to absolute fear of making the wrong decision.... .or that they point to the OJ and say water. (whats ever worse, when you have a jug of either as and if they want oj or water and say to you no but ill have a coke... like youve have stored one up your arse just in case somsome should want one.
5. when you walk down the aisle with a coffee pot in one hand and a serving tray in the other, and someone asks you to take their meal tray. how many hands do they think you have.
6. passengers who try to have an indepth conversation with you, whilst wearing their headphones, and wait until you have finished a lengthy explanation about something before removing their headphones and asking you to repeat what you have said.
hats off to all flight attendants around the world, because its a hell of a lot harder than it looks. and to all those who think that we are just waiters in the sky... well there is so much going on behind the scenes, that if thats all you are seeing, then we are doing our jobs well.
ok, rant over... los angeles was nice.. despite the flights there and back being hell. still tired and jetlagged, but i have 2 days to get over that before im off again. yay.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
luck of the draw
just got my jan roster. spewing i didnt get a sydney trip AGAIN!!! but i did get 2 orlandos (i like those) and 2 nairobi's and a johannesburg and a barbados.
just as well scott and i both get a night LA together this week.
ill try to swap onto a sydney trip soon tho as dying to get home and see friends and family
just as well scott and i both get a night LA together this week.
ill try to swap onto a sydney trip soon tho as dying to get home and see friends and family
Thursday, December 13, 2007
chewed up and spat out
just landed from Orlando. 9.10 hours there and 7.42 coming home. with 24 hours downroute.
flight over was full and pretty busy. 747 was amazing to work on.. even if it was huge. got an hours crew rest even.
went out for drinks when i got there with the crew, and woke up with the hang over from hell. the hotel is attached to a huge shopping mall, but alas, no money to shop with so had to settle for getting scott just one xmas present.
flight home was half empty so got to have 2.15 hours crew rest. was a bit weird to go trotting off to go lie down on a bunk whilst passengers were sitting downstairs, and then hit some pretty bad turbulence. totally weird feeling being strapped to a bunk, whilst the tail fo the plane is fish-tailing all over the place. managed to get about 1.5 hours sleep out of it. and emerged looking refreshed and thankful i wasnt sitting in a normal seat for 7 something hours.
still ended up feeling delerious and hypoxic when i got off, and its amuzing to see all the crew turn crazy when we get on the crew bus, from tiredness, jetlag, and hypoxia. one of the fun things of the job!
flight over was full and pretty busy. 747 was amazing to work on.. even if it was huge. got an hours crew rest even.
went out for drinks when i got there with the crew, and woke up with the hang over from hell. the hotel is attached to a huge shopping mall, but alas, no money to shop with so had to settle for getting scott just one xmas present.
flight home was half empty so got to have 2.15 hours crew rest. was a bit weird to go trotting off to go lie down on a bunk whilst passengers were sitting downstairs, and then hit some pretty bad turbulence. totally weird feeling being strapped to a bunk, whilst the tail fo the plane is fish-tailing all over the place. managed to get about 1.5 hours sleep out of it. and emerged looking refreshed and thankful i wasnt sitting in a normal seat for 7 something hours.
still ended up feeling delerious and hypoxic when i got off, and its amuzing to see all the crew turn crazy when we get on the crew bus, from tiredness, jetlag, and hypoxia. one of the fun things of the job!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Top Ten things that spin me out about flying
1. Waking up in the morning and thinking, "I'm going to another country today!"
2. Not having to go thru immigration like everyone else, and not even showing my passport coming and going from the UK.
3. Getting to 'Arm Doors and crosscheck'
4. Being downroute and converting foreign currency back into British Pounds. (this really does my head in as normally it would be back into aussie dollars.
5. Standing in front of the cabin and doing a Safety Demo. (after years of watching others do it.
6. Pushing a trolley up and down an aisle asking chicken or beef.
7. Being in an aircraft and not actually knowing where in the world im flying over at any given time
8. Having everyone in the airport and on the plane looking at you all the time.
9. Sitting in a jumpseat for takeoff and landing
10. How quickly an 8 hour flight can go when youre not sitting down watching movies.
2. Not having to go thru immigration like everyone else, and not even showing my passport coming and going from the UK.
3. Getting to 'Arm Doors and crosscheck'
4. Being downroute and converting foreign currency back into British Pounds. (this really does my head in as normally it would be back into aussie dollars.
5. Standing in front of the cabin and doing a Safety Demo. (after years of watching others do it.
6. Pushing a trolley up and down an aisle asking chicken or beef.
7. Being in an aircraft and not actually knowing where in the world im flying over at any given time
8. Having everyone in the airport and on the plane looking at you all the time.
9. Sitting in a jumpseat for takeoff and landing
10. How quickly an 8 hour flight can go when youre not sitting down watching movies.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
The Eagle Has Landed !!!
OH MY GOD!!!! I love flying!!!!
Ok gordon and i were shitting ourselves when we got to the airport. The Pre-Flight Briefing was nerve wrecking but wasnt as bad as we thought. next thing you know we are going thru security.. everything was a total blur..i was so nervous.
Next thing i know, we are on the plane, checks complete and im trying to figure out everything in the galley.. i hadnt even realised passengers had started boarding until i saw a strange man standing in the galley.. scared the crap outta me.
Had to do my first video safety demo.. had no idea what i was doing as we had only seen it once during training.... almost wished it was a manual demo.. at least i know that back to front.
Before i knew it, we were strapped into our jumpseats and hurlting down the runway.
lets just say it was a real trial by fire. totally full flight, lots of seat back video problems, passengers complaining headsets didnt work, ran out of meal choices and the call bells did not stop for the entire flight. but i tell you, i havenever had 8 hours pass so quickly.
had listened to my service trainers and had crouched down to deal with all my passengers, and by the time i got off, my thigh muscles were so sore i could hardly walk.. my feet were killing me, i was deliriously tired but i loved the entire experience.
Brooklyn was freezing cold, and i was only there for 16 hours so slept most of it.
fliht home was a breeze, really felt i knew what i was doing for the services except for the duty free.. got totally confused on the computer but hey, i know it now.
had extreme winds on landing and aircraft was all over the place, but just goes to show how great our pilots are as we didnt have any issues, apart from us being a bit scared down the back.
slept for about 16 hours when i got home.
can hardly wait for my next trip and getting to deal with more passengers and get to play on a 747 next time !!!!
Ok gordon and i were shitting ourselves when we got to the airport. The Pre-Flight Briefing was nerve wrecking but wasnt as bad as we thought. next thing you know we are going thru security.. everything was a total blur..i was so nervous.
Next thing i know, we are on the plane, checks complete and im trying to figure out everything in the galley.. i hadnt even realised passengers had started boarding until i saw a strange man standing in the galley.. scared the crap outta me.
Had to do my first video safety demo.. had no idea what i was doing as we had only seen it once during training.... almost wished it was a manual demo.. at least i know that back to front.
Before i knew it, we were strapped into our jumpseats and hurlting down the runway.
lets just say it was a real trial by fire. totally full flight, lots of seat back video problems, passengers complaining headsets didnt work, ran out of meal choices and the call bells did not stop for the entire flight. but i tell you, i havenever had 8 hours pass so quickly.
had listened to my service trainers and had crouched down to deal with all my passengers, and by the time i got off, my thigh muscles were so sore i could hardly walk.. my feet were killing me, i was deliriously tired but i loved the entire experience.
Brooklyn was freezing cold, and i was only there for 16 hours so slept most of it.
fliht home was a breeze, really felt i knew what i was doing for the services except for the duty free.. got totally confused on the computer but hey, i know it now.
had extreme winds on landing and aircraft was all over the place, but just goes to show how great our pilots are as we didnt have any issues, apart from us being a bit scared down the back.
slept for about 16 hours when i got home.
can hardly wait for my next trip and getting to deal with more passengers and get to play on a 747 next time !!!!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Virgin gives you wings!!!!
in the words of my group OMG!!!!
i got my wings on monday night. was a bittersweet evening in that we all passed but was the last time we would be together as a group. I was group spokes person and had to get up and make a speech to thank all the trainers. got about 1 sentence in and started to get all weepy.. how embarrassment. but go tthru it fine.
got a surprise tho. the class had voted me the class hero and i got a trophy. i thnk thats what set off the waterworks.
anyway... here it is.. wednesday...D Day. i am about to go get dressed and take my first flight... scared, excited, nervous... all of the above.
watched view from the top last night for some last minute pointers.
better keep it brief as i have to go manicure myself within an inch of my life.
i got my wings on monday night. was a bittersweet evening in that we all passed but was the last time we would be together as a group. I was group spokes person and had to get up and make a speech to thank all the trainers. got about 1 sentence in and started to get all weepy.. how embarrassment. but go tthru it fine.
got a surprise tho. the class had voted me the class hero and i got a trophy. i thnk thats what set off the waterworks.
anyway... here it is.. wednesday...D Day. i am about to go get dressed and take my first flight... scared, excited, nervous... all of the above.
watched view from the top last night for some last minute pointers.
better keep it brief as i have to go manicure myself within an inch of my life.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
last full training day done and dusted!!!
after a sleepless night.... stressing and pondering my practical drills all night, the day had arrived where our actual practicals took place.
we all marched from the classroom to the training rigg, like prisoners walking the long green mile. you could have heard a pin drop as we all entered the training rigg and st down... everyones knees were shaking.... palms sweating and butterflies rattling to get out.
but guess what..... i passed with flying colours. we then finished off running through our practical experience on all the boeing doors, and running through all the bells and whistles of the boeing.
then a little nice surprise came at the end of the day...as we realised that was it... end of 6 weeks, with only our 2 written finals on boeing to do on monday... that in fact, since we passed the practicals today.. .we are indeed FLIGHT ATTENDANTS!!!!! regardless of the outcome of mondays exams..... i WILL be flying on wednesday, because that is on an Airbus. (mind you, i cannot fly on a boeing if i do fail monday and would need to do the 3 day conversion course again...and im so not going to let that happen...esp since i have been getting 100%-96% in every exam so far.)
I WILL be getting my wings on monday... i cannot believe it. even now i am fighting back the tears that threaten to well in my eyes, that i have finally, after all these years, achieved my life dreams. Not only this, but doing it for one of the worlds best airlines.
but you can bet i will be crapping my pants on wednesday as i walk into that pre-flight briefing room, and even worse as i step onto that plane... feeling like i dont know what to do from one moment to another... but in my heart i know that i do know it all.. just have to get over the nerves.
we all marched from the classroom to the training rigg, like prisoners walking the long green mile. you could have heard a pin drop as we all entered the training rigg and st down... everyones knees were shaking.... palms sweating and butterflies rattling to get out.
but guess what..... i passed with flying colours. we then finished off running through our practical experience on all the boeing doors, and running through all the bells and whistles of the boeing.
then a little nice surprise came at the end of the day...as we realised that was it... end of 6 weeks, with only our 2 written finals on boeing to do on monday... that in fact, since we passed the practicals today.. .we are indeed FLIGHT ATTENDANTS!!!!! regardless of the outcome of mondays exams..... i WILL be flying on wednesday, because that is on an Airbus. (mind you, i cannot fly on a boeing if i do fail monday and would need to do the 3 day conversion course again...and im so not going to let that happen...esp since i have been getting 100%-96% in every exam so far.)
I WILL be getting my wings on monday... i cannot believe it. even now i am fighting back the tears that threaten to well in my eyes, that i have finally, after all these years, achieved my life dreams. Not only this, but doing it for one of the worlds best airlines.
but you can bet i will be crapping my pants on wednesday as i walk into that pre-flight briefing room, and even worse as i step onto that plane... feeling like i dont know what to do from one moment to another... but in my heart i know that i do know it all.. just have to get over the nerves.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
are you being served?
well folks..... service week is over and im proud to say i passed with flying colours.
now, i have boeing to learn, but more practical and written exams before im finally graduated. hard to believe that in 4 and a bit days i will be finished my training and ready to fly!!!!!
now, i have boeing to learn, but more practical and written exams before im finally graduated. hard to believe that in 4 and a bit days i will be finished my training and ready to fly!!!!!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Photos from the training course
Me signing my certification to fly
Gordon and I in the service training rig
Having some fun in the rig
Learning how to set up the dinner cart
My Smoking Buddies
Gordon and I in the service training rig
Having some fun in the rig
Learning how to set up the dinner cart
My Smoking Buddies
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Dancicle
its bloody freezing here. last night driving home at 5pm was 3 degrees. ive heard it got down to -6 overnight. woke to to see frost on the roof opposite our flat.
And its not even december yet. looking forward to warming up when i go down south to miami and orlando!!!!
And its not even december yet. looking forward to warming up when i go down south to miami and orlando!!!!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Coffee? Tea? or Me?
You for coffee?? You for tea??
spent yesterday learning how to set up the trolleys and what goes in what box and cart in the galley, and how to use the trash compactor. today is day for of service and we still havent learned how to actually serve anything. i do hope they give us a practice run before our assessment on tuesday. our assessment is having to searve each other ona pretend flight, and having to set up carts and meals. they have told us service flows and where to find things but have given us so practice..... so i hope i do ok in my practical. although really how hard can it be??
today i learn how to use the duty free computer... all day... how fun!
poor scott is sick with the flu.. so he is home for 5 days. luckily... as in december he and i have horrible rosters and i think we get about 4 days together in december.... but at least we have xmas together...
spent yesterday learning how to set up the trolleys and what goes in what box and cart in the galley, and how to use the trash compactor. today is day for of service and we still havent learned how to actually serve anything. i do hope they give us a practice run before our assessment on tuesday. our assessment is having to searve each other ona pretend flight, and having to set up carts and meals. they have told us service flows and where to find things but have given us so practice..... so i hope i do ok in my practical. although really how hard can it be??
today i learn how to use the duty free computer... all day... how fun!
poor scott is sick with the flu.. so he is home for 5 days. luckily... as in december he and i have horrible rosters and i think we get about 4 days together in december.... but at least we have xmas together...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Im certified
today has to be one of the most stressful of my life so far. i had my safety and airbus finals today. 120 questions and 194 pieces of equiptment to place on 3 different aircraft.
amazingly i passed.
which means i am now leagally certified (or certifiable!!!) to fly in an airbus. i just have to pass a conversion course for boeing and im certified on that too.
only 2 weeks to go until i finish my training. 5 days service training, 2 days self defence and 3 days boeing conversion. then one day of exams and im online!!!!
amazingly i passed.
which means i am now leagally certified (or certifiable!!!) to fly in an airbus. i just have to pass a conversion course for boeing and im certified on that too.
only 2 weeks to go until i finish my training. 5 days service training, 2 days self defence and 3 days boeing conversion. then one day of exams and im online!!!!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
well.....its not paris, first class, international but its just as good
hey!!!! mt roster came out!!!
obviously for security reasons i cant say my exact roster. what i can tell is the destinations i got. my first flight is going to be New York, then Orlando, LA, Miami and then Nairobi. luckily (unheard of for a junior) i got xmas and NY off!!! but scott is away for Ny so i will try to get onto his flight.
how exciting!!! its all very real now. we have finally finished the training for safety and airbus, i have the weekend to study a plethora of information and memorise locations before the 2-3 hour exam on monday and thats safety done and dusted for a year. before i have to resit again next year... no rest for the wicked.... its constant study and testing here!!! safety is our prime concern!
spent the last 2 days running around from pane to plane having a look at all the bits and bobs and buttons and whistles (well chimes and lights really)
its bloody freezing now it is. today at the base, there was frost on all the plants outside and front on the cars and smoking shelter....been 0 degrees some days... and well.. new york is just going to be mega cold so i may as well get used to it.
miss aussie summer but at least miami and orlando should be warmer.
obviously for security reasons i cant say my exact roster. what i can tell is the destinations i got. my first flight is going to be New York, then Orlando, LA, Miami and then Nairobi. luckily (unheard of for a junior) i got xmas and NY off!!! but scott is away for Ny so i will try to get onto his flight.
how exciting!!! its all very real now. we have finally finished the training for safety and airbus, i have the weekend to study a plethora of information and memorise locations before the 2-3 hour exam on monday and thats safety done and dusted for a year. before i have to resit again next year... no rest for the wicked.... its constant study and testing here!!! safety is our prime concern!
spent the last 2 days running around from pane to plane having a look at all the bits and bobs and buttons and whistles (well chimes and lights really)
its bloody freezing now it is. today at the base, there was frost on all the plants outside and front on the cars and smoking shelter....been 0 degrees some days... and well.. new york is just going to be mega cold so i may as well get used to it.
miss aussie summer but at least miami and orlando should be warmer.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
bitchin ditchin
well....survived ditching day.... barely.
had to be at the base at 0515.... onto a bus to the pool. was the coldest day here yet. rain.. still dark.... you can imagine this is not the most inviting morning for a swim.
we get to the pool and my stomach is so tied in knots. i hate the water.. totally hate the water... having almost drowned twice as a child, i guess i have a good, if not unneccessary fear for the water. im not the strongest swimmer. another bloke in my course..darren is exactly the same. we would just look at each other across the aisle of the bus..and the look in our eyes said volumes, but tried to be supportive of each other. was a great time for scott and i to be having a disaggreement, and this was adding to my stress. (things calm now tho)
we get to the pool and change, and all too soon im standing at the side of the pool. thankfully the indoor pool area is heated...and the water seemed quite warm.
the drill seargent of an instructor lead us through an hour and a half of hell. first of all we had to get into the pool at one end and swim to the other end, without touching the sides or bottom. 25 metres. now normally im not a strong enough swimmer to make that without going thru panic. i got about half way and felt the panic rising. so flipped onto my back and did the 2nd half in backstroke.. the look of sheer horror i was to find out, was seen by one of my crewmates. but i did it. then we had to get out, and put on a life jacket, and pull the toggle to blow it up. and roll into the pool and make our way to the centre of the pool.. which was fine since i had a flotation device, there was no fear or panic and i felt quite comfortable. we did various exercises basedon water survival.. and then i had to be dragged one length of the pool...i teamed up with darren so we could support each other. and then i had to drag him back the other way.. was totally exhausted by this stage.. hes a big hefty muscle boy. then we had to remove our life jackets and swim to the centre of the pool and retrieve a rolled up life jacket floating on the water, and tread water while putting it on and manually blowing it up using the tube. amazingly i just aced that.. had it on and blown up quicker than some guys who are good swimmers.
last but not least we had to swim to a life raft in the centre of the pool and haul each other in, and row to the side of the pool. great fun in the end. glad i never have to do that again.
we all passed !!!
then we got taught PELDS.. portable equiptment location diagrams. we have 3 types of airbus and we have to learn 194 specific locations on them by monday. from memory. fudge fudge.. its hard. this is the one section i think i might actually fail. some girls in the class are saying they can already plot them all. im about half way. and its just not sinking in.
today we took a trip to heathrow to go visit an airbus a340. a real aircraft. we got to open and close a door. arm and disarm a door (oh yes and lets not forget that all important crosschecking!!)
we gto to go down to the crew rest area, and practice climbing out the escape hatch. i think this was real fun as we were on a real plane. got to see a few things that the average punter doesnt know about.
going to a hanger tomorrow to spend more time on the plane, and im hoping i wil have more time to explore all the drawers and stowages so i can picture these bloody locations.
tomorrows test.... doors and exits... how to open and close, how to arm and disarm.. pre flight checks and how to evacuate each of them (there are different specific phrases to say for each)
sigh.. im exhausted and weary and my brain is pretty full. if i can survive it all., i have 2.5 weeks left til graduation.
thankfully next week is service week.. now im not saying its easy.. but certainly less of a brain strain than the last 2 weeks.. its not so cerebral and is more based on customer service and our personalities than facts and figures. plus, we get to serve each other meals and drinks for a few days so free lunch!!
danny - do what you have to mate.
had to be at the base at 0515.... onto a bus to the pool. was the coldest day here yet. rain.. still dark.... you can imagine this is not the most inviting morning for a swim.
we get to the pool and my stomach is so tied in knots. i hate the water.. totally hate the water... having almost drowned twice as a child, i guess i have a good, if not unneccessary fear for the water. im not the strongest swimmer. another bloke in my course..darren is exactly the same. we would just look at each other across the aisle of the bus..and the look in our eyes said volumes, but tried to be supportive of each other. was a great time for scott and i to be having a disaggreement, and this was adding to my stress. (things calm now tho)
we get to the pool and change, and all too soon im standing at the side of the pool. thankfully the indoor pool area is heated...and the water seemed quite warm.
the drill seargent of an instructor lead us through an hour and a half of hell. first of all we had to get into the pool at one end and swim to the other end, without touching the sides or bottom. 25 metres. now normally im not a strong enough swimmer to make that without going thru panic. i got about half way and felt the panic rising. so flipped onto my back and did the 2nd half in backstroke.. the look of sheer horror i was to find out, was seen by one of my crewmates. but i did it. then we had to get out, and put on a life jacket, and pull the toggle to blow it up. and roll into the pool and make our way to the centre of the pool.. which was fine since i had a flotation device, there was no fear or panic and i felt quite comfortable. we did various exercises basedon water survival.. and then i had to be dragged one length of the pool...i teamed up with darren so we could support each other. and then i had to drag him back the other way.. was totally exhausted by this stage.. hes a big hefty muscle boy. then we had to remove our life jackets and swim to the centre of the pool and retrieve a rolled up life jacket floating on the water, and tread water while putting it on and manually blowing it up using the tube. amazingly i just aced that.. had it on and blown up quicker than some guys who are good swimmers.
last but not least we had to swim to a life raft in the centre of the pool and haul each other in, and row to the side of the pool. great fun in the end. glad i never have to do that again.
we all passed !!!
then we got taught PELDS.. portable equiptment location diagrams. we have 3 types of airbus and we have to learn 194 specific locations on them by monday. from memory. fudge fudge.. its hard. this is the one section i think i might actually fail. some girls in the class are saying they can already plot them all. im about half way. and its just not sinking in.
today we took a trip to heathrow to go visit an airbus a340. a real aircraft. we got to open and close a door. arm and disarm a door (oh yes and lets not forget that all important crosschecking!!)
we gto to go down to the crew rest area, and practice climbing out the escape hatch. i think this was real fun as we were on a real plane. got to see a few things that the average punter doesnt know about.
going to a hanger tomorrow to spend more time on the plane, and im hoping i wil have more time to explore all the drawers and stowages so i can picture these bloody locations.
tomorrows test.... doors and exits... how to open and close, how to arm and disarm.. pre flight checks and how to evacuate each of them (there are different specific phrases to say for each)
sigh.. im exhausted and weary and my brain is pretty full. if i can survive it all., i have 2.5 weeks left til graduation.
thankfully next week is service week.. now im not saying its easy.. but certainly less of a brain strain than the last 2 weeks.. its not so cerebral and is more based on customer service and our personalities than facts and figures. plus, we get to serve each other meals and drinks for a few days so free lunch!!
danny - do what you have to mate.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
my slide descent
caught it on video. shame we could only do it once.... man it waqs scary though, it doesnt look like youre going fast, but you really fly down those things. my stomach was still at the top as i reached the bottom
Half Way There !!!!
WHOOOOOOAAAA we're halfway there
living on a prayer !!!!
today marks the halfway mark in the training course, and today has been the most exciting so far.
started off mega nervous and stressing over whether i would pass todays exam.. managed to get 100% so the stress of the day was over and done, and we got down to the serious business of those unspoken unlikey events of an emergency incident.
then... today i finally fulfilled on of my lifes little goals.
I GOT TO JUMP DOWN AN EVACUATION SLIDE !!!
then we spent all afternoon in the rig... this mock plane cabin with doors and lights and sound effects. and we got to practice our evacuation drills. my god that was so much fun.. weird really since in a real event it would be anything but fun.. but has really brought home the fact im working for an airline as cabin crew. my throat is sore from yelling all afternoon for people to open their seatbelts and get out.
all from no notice emergencies to short notice and long notice and all the differences we have.
bit nervous about ditching day on tuesday.. being thrown inthe pool and having to put on life jackets while treading water and manually inflating but hey... ill do fine.
anyway... loving this song right now.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
lucky streaks cant last
sigh.. knew it was too good to be true. tried my best but the 100% run just wasnt going to last.
the last few days have been hell!! so fucking much to learn, and remember.. facts and figures going around in my head so much, its all a blur.
last 2 days i have only managed to get 96%. got one question wrong in each exam.
so far we have been lucky and everyone has passed all exams (pass is 88%)
today, we saw one girl fail an exam. means she has to take a resit exam tomorrow. hope she studies because if you fail that, they will give her a verbal exam tomorrow after lunch and if she fails that, she is out. eeek.. and we dont want to lose anyone.
mind you , yesterday was a bit of fun, where we were in a mock up cabin and went through all the stages of flight, pretending to be real trolley dollies. i got to do from take off until disembarkation. got to sit in jump seats.. secure cabins, and play with all the bells and whistles. was dead exciting..even if i did catch my finger in the jump seat... mega-ouch.
today was fire safety day and we got to go out to a fire training facility in the middle of no-where. got to put out an over fire with a BCF extinguisher. and also had to don a smoke hood and make my way through a smoke filled cabin, and grab an extinguisher and fight a pretend toilet fire.
was really eerie walking through this cabin which was the back section of a real 747. what you are used to seeing, looks totally alien when filled with smoke.. the light (of which there was only 2 small ones at the back of the cabin) was dim and spooky. the only sound is your breathing in the smook hood. im vaguely aware of my 2 crew mates with me shouting out if im ok, as part fo the standard checks..but really easy to feel freaked out as everything seems so closed in. but wish i coudl go do it all again.
easier night fo study tonight.. just have to study fire drills and elements and types of fires. should only take an hour of study, plus by pre flight checks and durations of fire fighting equipt.
scott went to LA today... will be back saturday. hopefully i can surprise him with a nice 100% result for the next 2 exams. he is very proud of me but im gutted i didnt get 100% i have very high expectations of me, and although most people have been getting one or two wrong in most exams... i want to exit the course knowing i achieved what i set out for and that i know is all confidently. 2 more days and we are half way through the course. phew. the group are bonding even closer which means the dirty talk is becoming more and more prevalent. tee hee.
been discovering the joys of facebook. most of our group are in there and slowly finding people i knwo and havent seen for eons on there.
missing my friends back home heaps
the last few days have been hell!! so fucking much to learn, and remember.. facts and figures going around in my head so much, its all a blur.
last 2 days i have only managed to get 96%. got one question wrong in each exam.
so far we have been lucky and everyone has passed all exams (pass is 88%)
today, we saw one girl fail an exam. means she has to take a resit exam tomorrow. hope she studies because if you fail that, they will give her a verbal exam tomorrow after lunch and if she fails that, she is out. eeek.. and we dont want to lose anyone.
mind you , yesterday was a bit of fun, where we were in a mock up cabin and went through all the stages of flight, pretending to be real trolley dollies. i got to do from take off until disembarkation. got to sit in jump seats.. secure cabins, and play with all the bells and whistles. was dead exciting..even if i did catch my finger in the jump seat... mega-ouch.
today was fire safety day and we got to go out to a fire training facility in the middle of no-where. got to put out an over fire with a BCF extinguisher. and also had to don a smoke hood and make my way through a smoke filled cabin, and grab an extinguisher and fight a pretend toilet fire.
was really eerie walking through this cabin which was the back section of a real 747. what you are used to seeing, looks totally alien when filled with smoke.. the light (of which there was only 2 small ones at the back of the cabin) was dim and spooky. the only sound is your breathing in the smook hood. im vaguely aware of my 2 crew mates with me shouting out if im ok, as part fo the standard checks..but really easy to feel freaked out as everything seems so closed in. but wish i coudl go do it all again.
easier night fo study tonight.. just have to study fire drills and elements and types of fires. should only take an hour of study, plus by pre flight checks and durations of fire fighting equipt.
scott went to LA today... will be back saturday. hopefully i can surprise him with a nice 100% result for the next 2 exams. he is very proud of me but im gutted i didnt get 100% i have very high expectations of me, and although most people have been getting one or two wrong in most exams... i want to exit the course knowing i achieved what i set out for and that i know is all confidently. 2 more days and we are half way through the course. phew. the group are bonding even closer which means the dirty talk is becoming more and more prevalent. tee hee.
been discovering the joys of facebook. most of our group are in there and slowly finding people i knwo and havent seen for eons on there.
missing my friends back home heaps
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
definable moments of pure contentment
do you ever have those moments that make you stop and just realise how happy and content you are.
moments like just laying on the loungeroom floor, next to your partner, legs and arms entwined, just staring at the ceiling, listening to music. you suddenly realise just how happy and content you are, and how it never gets better than this. You lay there for hours, lips touching tenderly, revelliing in each others presence. How lucky am i ???
the study has just doubled. i had about 3 hours worth to do yesterday. ugh. 1 hour in the morning and 2 at night. this is on top of 8 hours of instruction during the day. god help anyone who calls me a glorified waiter. my exam today is on turbulence and decompression and child restraints. yesterdays exam saw another 100% result. but im sure the streak cant last.
today we are on FSR's ugh... can i ever escape FSR?? only this time its not functional requirement specifications, its flight safety regulations. actually makes functional requirements look like a walk in the park.
missing my friends back home.. getting to the homesick stage... but scott is making my hearth feels very at home.
yesterday saw my 1 month in the UK. god its passed quickly...but feels longer.
tomorrow is scott and my 8 month anniversary. again feels like longer.
moments like just laying on the loungeroom floor, next to your partner, legs and arms entwined, just staring at the ceiling, listening to music. you suddenly realise just how happy and content you are, and how it never gets better than this. You lay there for hours, lips touching tenderly, revelliing in each others presence. How lucky am i ???
the study has just doubled. i had about 3 hours worth to do yesterday. ugh. 1 hour in the morning and 2 at night. this is on top of 8 hours of instruction during the day. god help anyone who calls me a glorified waiter. my exam today is on turbulence and decompression and child restraints. yesterdays exam saw another 100% result. but im sure the streak cant last.
today we are on FSR's ugh... can i ever escape FSR?? only this time its not functional requirement specifications, its flight safety regulations. actually makes functional requirements look like a walk in the park.
missing my friends back home.. getting to the homesick stage... but scott is making my hearth feels very at home.
yesterday saw my 1 month in the UK. god its passed quickly...but feels longer.
tomorrow is scott and my 8 month anniversary. again feels like longer.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Finally some pictures from my training
Happy as a pig in mud
Hope this is not part of the uniform
Welcome aboard the Av-med training rig
Uniform fittings
Saturday, November 03, 2007
And so the nightmare begins
yesterday we had the start of 11.5 days of pure hell. SEP. Safety and emergency proceedures.
the volumne of work has already been thrust upon us. yesterday we had a surprise exam. we had to watch a 10 min video and then had an exam on it right after.
ok so i got 100% but i dont think that this lucky streak will continue as its massive.
we got told yesterday that what we learn in 3 weeks of this course, when compared fact to fact, is 1/3 more than a 2 year travel and tourism course. sheesh.. and we only have 15 days to learn all that. i swear if anyone calls me a flying waiter ill bitch slapt them into oblivion.
went out for drinks with my crew last night. was nice to see everyone outside of the class environment, but the music was so loud that you couldnt actually hear what anyone was saying. am igetting too old for that crap??
scott is finally back. i missed my mate. i am pretty sure he really missed me, judging by all the totally dirty things he was saying to me in his sleep. but disconcerting when you are awoken by someone whispering the rudest things imaginable in your ear... and then realising he is totally asleep. sigh. whats a boy to do ... tee hee
having some mates over for dinner tonight. and have at least 2 hours study to do today. it never ends.
the volumne of work has already been thrust upon us. yesterday we had a surprise exam. we had to watch a 10 min video and then had an exam on it right after.
ok so i got 100% but i dont think that this lucky streak will continue as its massive.
we got told yesterday that what we learn in 3 weeks of this course, when compared fact to fact, is 1/3 more than a 2 year travel and tourism course. sheesh.. and we only have 15 days to learn all that. i swear if anyone calls me a flying waiter ill bitch slapt them into oblivion.
went out for drinks with my crew last night. was nice to see everyone outside of the class environment, but the music was so loud that you couldnt actually hear what anyone was saying. am igetting too old for that crap??
scott is finally back. i missed my mate. i am pretty sure he really missed me, judging by all the totally dirty things he was saying to me in his sleep. but disconcerting when you are awoken by someone whispering the rudest things imaginable in your ear... and then realising he is totally asleep. sigh. whats a boy to do ... tee hee
having some mates over for dinner tonight. and have at least 2 hours study to do today. it never ends.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Av-med done and dusted
5 gruelling days later
5 written tests later
3 practical assessments later
and i have passed and finished Aviation Medicine. (god i can even deliver a baby now)
got 100% for my final exam.
the rig assessment we had was hilarious...nerve wrecking before hand but so funny when we look back.
our group of 4 had to deal with an economy class passenger who had taken an overdose of heroin, and still had the needle stuck in his arm. half way through treating him, he went into convulsions, and we had to get a medically qualified volunteer from the passengers to come help, whilst on the phone to medlink. apparently i was the only person in the whole class who did not follow the volunteers advice to move the patient to the floor to treat and they were really impressed at how i stood up tot the doctor. (either way is correct but it is safer for all concerned to leave him lying across the seats as we were diverting and had to land and you cant strap him inn on the floor.)
so got some brownie points there.
everyone did really well...and we all passed. so all going out for drinks tomorrow to celebrate.
tomorrow is cabin resource management and then the beginning of cabin safety. the toughest 2 weeks of my career. apparently its hell and its not uncommon to lose one from the group during this phase.
but NO STUDY TONIGHT !!!
5 written tests later
3 practical assessments later
and i have passed and finished Aviation Medicine. (god i can even deliver a baby now)
got 100% for my final exam.
the rig assessment we had was hilarious...nerve wrecking before hand but so funny when we look back.
our group of 4 had to deal with an economy class passenger who had taken an overdose of heroin, and still had the needle stuck in his arm. half way through treating him, he went into convulsions, and we had to get a medically qualified volunteer from the passengers to come help, whilst on the phone to medlink. apparently i was the only person in the whole class who did not follow the volunteers advice to move the patient to the floor to treat and they were really impressed at how i stood up tot the doctor. (either way is correct but it is safer for all concerned to leave him lying across the seats as we were diverting and had to land and you cant strap him inn on the floor.)
so got some brownie points there.
everyone did really well...and we all passed. so all going out for drinks tomorrow to celebrate.
tomorrow is cabin resource management and then the beginning of cabin safety. the toughest 2 weeks of my career. apparently its hell and its not uncommon to lose one from the group during this phase.
but NO STUDY TONIGHT !!!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
finals of av-med tomorrow
well... had yet another exam today. becoming par for course now. was about 42 answers. and recently on my exams i have been finishing but not wanting to be the first to get up so have sat around double and triple checking my paper waiting for someone else to get up.
today i finished, double checked and no one had gotten up so i thought well bugger it i may as well get up. well..... i was wating outside on my own for about 5 mins...sweating it out thinking i must have really fucked up as i finished so much earlier than everyone else.
when they called us back in....i really was scared to see my results. i slowly turned over my exam paper.... holding my breath....... 100% phew.. so then we had to to a practical exam for cpr.... breezed thru that as was not anything new there.
got finals tomorrow.. which is 66 answers encompassing the whole weeks work.. and then we get into a team of 3-4 and are taken to the rig, which is like a mini plane with seats and a galley, and we will be presented with a medical emergency at no notice. quite cool actually. bit nervous but confident i know my stuff. i think at this stage im more worried about not getting 100% than actualy passing. so i will be gutted if i get one wrong.
should get my laptop back from the shop tomrorow so will be able to post up some pictures soon.
today i finished, double checked and no one had gotten up so i thought well bugger it i may as well get up. well..... i was wating outside on my own for about 5 mins...sweating it out thinking i must have really fucked up as i finished so much earlier than everyone else.
when they called us back in....i really was scared to see my results. i slowly turned over my exam paper.... holding my breath....... 100% phew.. so then we had to to a practical exam for cpr.... breezed thru that as was not anything new there.
got finals tomorrow.. which is 66 answers encompassing the whole weeks work.. and then we get into a team of 3-4 and are taken to the rig, which is like a mini plane with seats and a galley, and we will be presented with a medical emergency at no notice. quite cool actually. bit nervous but confident i know my stuff. i think at this stage im more worried about not getting 100% than actualy passing. so i will be gutted if i get one wrong.
should get my laptop back from the shop tomrorow so will be able to post up some pictures soon.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
DR "help" AB
you would think i would be well used to the exams by now, but this morning i was so nervous i was almost nauseous..... which is just as well i now know how to deal with that.
got another 100% score. except im now setting my bar so high that i think i will be quite upset if i dont get 100% in every exam. also passed my practical too.
another exam tommorrow.. written and practical. not sure what the practical will contain other than CPR. this includes adults, children and infants.
learned today that our final on friday will be in the av-med rig, which is the mock cabin, and we will be let loose on this pretend plane with an av-med playing an instructor and we will need to pretend we really are 30,000 feet in the air. kinda cool if it wasnt so nerve wrecking.
got trainer chris today.... he's totally cool and actually makes the learning experience fun. did bleeding today.. so you can only imagine the comments flying around the room about chris' bleeding gash.
scotty has gone to j'berg so im on my own again for 3 nights. sigh. oh well.. since im so exhausted and having to study im feeling guilty about not paying him 100% of my attention when i get home, but he does understand.
2 days left of av-med and then onto cabin safety, where the real work begins. apparently this is the hardest 2 weeks of the course. eeek ! but also the funnest.. we get to jump down a slide, practise safety demos, learn principles of survival and phases of flight, flight controls and go practise a ditching. all exciting stuff.
uniform looked good except the jackets are too small so need to get them swapped.
2 more weeks of casual clothes and then i am finally in uniform...
go team!
got another 100% score. except im now setting my bar so high that i think i will be quite upset if i dont get 100% in every exam. also passed my practical too.
another exam tommorrow.. written and practical. not sure what the practical will contain other than CPR. this includes adults, children and infants.
learned today that our final on friday will be in the av-med rig, which is the mock cabin, and we will be let loose on this pretend plane with an av-med playing an instructor and we will need to pretend we really are 30,000 feet in the air. kinda cool if it wasnt so nerve wrecking.
got trainer chris today.... he's totally cool and actually makes the learning experience fun. did bleeding today.. so you can only imagine the comments flying around the room about chris' bleeding gash.
scotty has gone to j'berg so im on my own again for 3 nights. sigh. oh well.. since im so exhausted and having to study im feeling guilty about not paying him 100% of my attention when i get home, but he does understand.
2 days left of av-med and then onto cabin safety, where the real work begins. apparently this is the hardest 2 weeks of the course. eeek ! but also the funnest.. we get to jump down a slide, practise safety demos, learn principles of survival and phases of flight, flight controls and go practise a ditching. all exciting stuff.
uniform looked good except the jackets are too small so need to get them swapped.
2 more weeks of casual clothes and then i am finally in uniform...
go team!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
surviving av-med
first av-med test today. got 100% again.. but was gruelling studying for it.
today we learned the basics of DRAB which seems so logical when on the ground but when in the air its all the basics you tend to forget.
had to get up in front of the group with 2 others and treat some one in a set of airline seats. got half way through and realised the person was suffering the exact thing my dad died from and since i was the first aider on the scene when he suffered a stroke/heart attack, all this emotion came floodiing back out of no where. kinda weird.
but am enjoying the course and the experience. tomrrow have another exam and a practical exam. ugh !! oh well.. ill survive. got me class mates to get me thru.
on the plus side - i got my uniform today.... so have to go try it all on. yay!!!
today we learned the basics of DRAB which seems so logical when on the ground but when in the air its all the basics you tend to forget.
had to get up in front of the group with 2 others and treat some one in a set of airline seats. got half way through and realised the person was suffering the exact thing my dad died from and since i was the first aider on the scene when he suffered a stroke/heart attack, all this emotion came floodiing back out of no where. kinda weird.
but am enjoying the course and the experience. tomrrow have another exam and a practical exam. ugh !! oh well.. ill survive. got me class mates to get me thru.
on the plus side - i got my uniform today.... so have to go try it all on. yay!!!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
one down - five to go
hard to believe that we have completed 1 week already.
day 5 saw the start of Av-med (aviation medicine) amazing the stuff we have to learn. already we have learnt all the common conditions we can expect to treat on board, how to administer oxygen, and the locations and contents of all the medical equiptment on board.
mots of the training took place in a large classroom, however we were shown the Av-med rig. its like a mini plane, with 3 rows of Upper Class, and 10 rows of Economy, seperated by a mock galley and with 2 fake doors and 2 sets of jumpseats. its all becoming very real being inside an aircraft.
totally loving the experience and my class mates are a hoot. been taking heaps of photos, of course none of me, but with my laptop dead i cant upload yet. going to go take my laptop to get fixed.. lord knows how much that will cost. eeek!
bonding well with my class.. slowly but surely. kinda hard to get around to everyone as its such a large group. but already have made some close bonds which i know will last thruoughout my career and will have a blast when we get to fly together...if ever. its weird to think al these people you may never fly with since there are about 4500 crew and you may never see some of them. although looking forward to a trip with dave.. he has me in stitches every day.
scott got back last night and was glad to see him, even though i havent had time to miss him yet.
cant sit on here all day, as have a crap load of study to do for my av-med exam monday morning. aparently out of all the avmed exams, this is the one that usually most fail, since its the first one and you have no idea what to expect in it. but i had scott test me on everything, and even things we have not done in class yet and i passed with flying colours so im not too concerned yet, although i will be crapping my daks on monday morning.
day 5 saw the start of Av-med (aviation medicine) amazing the stuff we have to learn. already we have learnt all the common conditions we can expect to treat on board, how to administer oxygen, and the locations and contents of all the medical equiptment on board.
mots of the training took place in a large classroom, however we were shown the Av-med rig. its like a mini plane, with 3 rows of Upper Class, and 10 rows of Economy, seperated by a mock galley and with 2 fake doors and 2 sets of jumpseats. its all becoming very real being inside an aircraft.
totally loving the experience and my class mates are a hoot. been taking heaps of photos, of course none of me, but with my laptop dead i cant upload yet. going to go take my laptop to get fixed.. lord knows how much that will cost. eeek!
bonding well with my class.. slowly but surely. kinda hard to get around to everyone as its such a large group. but already have made some close bonds which i know will last thruoughout my career and will have a blast when we get to fly together...if ever. its weird to think al these people you may never fly with since there are about 4500 crew and you may never see some of them. although looking forward to a trip with dave.. he has me in stitches every day.
scott got back last night and was glad to see him, even though i havent had time to miss him yet.
cant sit on here all day, as have a crap load of study to do for my av-med exam monday morning. aparently out of all the avmed exams, this is the one that usually most fail, since its the first one and you have no idea what to expect in it. but i had scott test me on everything, and even things we have not done in class yet and i passed with flying colours so im not too concerned yet, although i will be crapping my daks on monday morning.
Friday, October 26, 2007
day 4 in the big brother house
todays exam was dead easy. 100% again.. phew. and guess what....no exams tomorrow.. but we sure have a hell of a lot of reading to do. luckily we have the weekend to really study beofre the daily exams commence again. we have been warned that the first two exams are not that bad but the 3rd is a killer. and the 2nd week of safety training is the worst we will have to go thru. i think thats all the practicals.
today saw special needs awareness day. spent half the day learning how to deal with Visually Impared and Deaf customers. ended up being led around the base in a blindfold to realise how it is. i think i surprised a few people when i started speaking sign language. aparently i can get more money for that, but the BSL is so different to australian sign language. so i think i will need to go study it again here ot learn thelocal version.
got a great group. slowly we are starting to bond closer, although it is way to big to really get around to everyone. i think i have started to bond closest to my smoking buddies. the charlies angels trio. cant believe out of 21 there are only 3 smokers. anyway, have started to see peoiple come out of their shell and gradually im getting to know others.
my laptop died...not really sure whats going on with it.. and having to use scotts, so not sure how i will get the photos out of my video camera yet, but will go get my laptop fixed and then will be able to publish my pics here of what im going thru.
must go.. study calls
today saw special needs awareness day. spent half the day learning how to deal with Visually Impared and Deaf customers. ended up being led around the base in a blindfold to realise how it is. i think i surprised a few people when i started speaking sign language. aparently i can get more money for that, but the BSL is so different to australian sign language. so i think i will need to go study it again here ot learn thelocal version.
got a great group. slowly we are starting to bond closer, although it is way to big to really get around to everyone. i think i have started to bond closest to my smoking buddies. the charlies angels trio. cant believe out of 21 there are only 3 smokers. anyway, have started to see peoiple come out of their shell and gradually im getting to know others.
my laptop died...not really sure whats going on with it.. and having to use scotts, so not sure how i will get the photos out of my video camera yet, but will go get my laptop fixed and then will be able to publish my pics here of what im going thru.
must go.. study calls
Thursday, October 25, 2007
day 3 done and dusted
funny how 21 people can all be going thru the same intense nervousness. before our exam this morning, i thought i was going to throw up.
we had to leave the room once finished and then wait for it to be marked. i think i had butterflies as i walked back in.
the results of my first exam. 100% PHEW!
had a full day of customer service basics with loads of terminology i have to know. was thinkinig by the end of the day... hmm, thats not too hard. not too much to study tonight. then at 4.30 the av-med guy came in and gave us our manuals. we have a shit load of reading and study to do before friday. about 50 pages worth. on top of todays work. plus we will have homework tomorrow too. and then every day of av-med is about 50 pages to read. before the exam the next day, on top of revising what you learned that day.
and aparently cabin safety is harder.
they likeded it today to being like doing your masters. what have i gotten myself into. mind you... ive met some pretty thick flight attendants so it must be possible. funny learning all our customer service stuff today, and then you compare to qantas, and realise just how crap they really are, compared to how the virgin guys are doing it.
apparently qantas are recruiting trolley dollys at the moment. wonder why.
oh wel.. off for a quick power nap to recharge the brain before i hit the books.
we had to leave the room once finished and then wait for it to be marked. i think i had butterflies as i walked back in.
the results of my first exam. 100% PHEW!
had a full day of customer service basics with loads of terminology i have to know. was thinkinig by the end of the day... hmm, thats not too hard. not too much to study tonight. then at 4.30 the av-med guy came in and gave us our manuals. we have a shit load of reading and study to do before friday. about 50 pages worth. on top of todays work. plus we will have homework tomorrow too. and then every day of av-med is about 50 pages to read. before the exam the next day, on top of revising what you learned that day.
and aparently cabin safety is harder.
they likeded it today to being like doing your masters. what have i gotten myself into. mind you... ive met some pretty thick flight attendants so it must be possible. funny learning all our customer service stuff today, and then you compare to qantas, and realise just how crap they really are, compared to how the virgin guys are doing it.
apparently qantas are recruiting trolley dollys at the moment. wonder why.
oh wel.. off for a quick power nap to recharge the brain before i hit the books.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Like a Virgin
day 3 in the big brother house.
excitment and nerves are the 2 words to describe my first day at virgin. day 1 was induction day. 35 new staff from all over the world from all kinds of jobs. happy to see a couple of familiar faces from my interview day. seems the nice ones made it.
induction day was very similar in format to the one at flight centre. company history, branding etc... only incredibly high tech. makes our training at flight centre look like the dark ages. at "the base" every training room has computerised name screens outside each room stating what course is being run, with airport style indicator boards throughout the complex directing trainees to the right rooms. every room has a built in data projector, and a computerised lights and projector panel in the wall plus a pc for each room.
actually the base is mega huge.. theres about 20 training rooms and theres a whole rig section with a mock plane, mock cockpit to teach how to get the pilots out of the seats in emergencies, door section to teach door operations, mock check in desks, a huge slide and a blown up raft. theres an indoor town square and various break out sections. the whole thing looks very logans run or buck rogers. its amazing.
day 2 was course introduction and the trainee meet and greet. there are 21 of us ini the class. 10 girls and 11 guys (unheard of number of guys...usually theres 4-5)
we played speed datingand got to have 30 seconds to talk to about half the class, so that at least half of us knew the other half. nice group.. no show ponies. we are slowly sussing everyone out, and we think 10 out of 11 guys are gay... one is still to be confirmed and he is remaining tight lipped about it so we think more than likely straigt.. which is no big deal. girls are ranging from 18 thru to an unknown age but i would guess late 30s early 40s... normally thats when women stop telling ages. im the only overseas one but one guy has just come back from living in australia. he hated it... cant imagine why.
then we had sessions on personal safety and then uniform regulations. believe it or not, uniforms took about 3 hours. which included hair, grooming and makeup regs. we should get the uniform next week but wont wear it for another 3 or so weeks as next week is av-med and then we have SEP (all the evacuation and survival stuff)
today is our first exam. kinda nervous but this one should be easy. its all terminology and codes and grooming regs. we will soon see. pass rate is 88%
so far its been fun, and only took 1.5 days before the guys started talking and joking about sex.
scott left home at 3.30 this morning off to miami. so im up mega early. cant get back to sleep.
weathe rhere has turned cold. up at gatwick its 1 degree in the mornings. oh my god what have i done ??? at least when you get inside its nice and warm.
excitment and nerves are the 2 words to describe my first day at virgin. day 1 was induction day. 35 new staff from all over the world from all kinds of jobs. happy to see a couple of familiar faces from my interview day. seems the nice ones made it.
induction day was very similar in format to the one at flight centre. company history, branding etc... only incredibly high tech. makes our training at flight centre look like the dark ages. at "the base" every training room has computerised name screens outside each room stating what course is being run, with airport style indicator boards throughout the complex directing trainees to the right rooms. every room has a built in data projector, and a computerised lights and projector panel in the wall plus a pc for each room.
actually the base is mega huge.. theres about 20 training rooms and theres a whole rig section with a mock plane, mock cockpit to teach how to get the pilots out of the seats in emergencies, door section to teach door operations, mock check in desks, a huge slide and a blown up raft. theres an indoor town square and various break out sections. the whole thing looks very logans run or buck rogers. its amazing.
day 2 was course introduction and the trainee meet and greet. there are 21 of us ini the class. 10 girls and 11 guys (unheard of number of guys...usually theres 4-5)
we played speed datingand got to have 30 seconds to talk to about half the class, so that at least half of us knew the other half. nice group.. no show ponies. we are slowly sussing everyone out, and we think 10 out of 11 guys are gay... one is still to be confirmed and he is remaining tight lipped about it so we think more than likely straigt.. which is no big deal. girls are ranging from 18 thru to an unknown age but i would guess late 30s early 40s... normally thats when women stop telling ages. im the only overseas one but one guy has just come back from living in australia. he hated it... cant imagine why.
then we had sessions on personal safety and then uniform regulations. believe it or not, uniforms took about 3 hours. which included hair, grooming and makeup regs. we should get the uniform next week but wont wear it for another 3 or so weeks as next week is av-med and then we have SEP (all the evacuation and survival stuff)
today is our first exam. kinda nervous but this one should be easy. its all terminology and codes and grooming regs. we will soon see. pass rate is 88%
so far its been fun, and only took 1.5 days before the guys started talking and joking about sex.
scott left home at 3.30 this morning off to miami. so im up mega early. cant get back to sleep.
weathe rhere has turned cold. up at gatwick its 1 degree in the mornings. oh my god what have i done ??? at least when you get inside its nice and warm.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
scott is on his way
well.. its been along long long, lonely boring 9 days but Scott will finally get home tomorrow morning around 9am.. wasnt fun being left alone here right after arriving from australia, but it was a decision we both made, that we needed the money the allowances from such a trip would provide... he didnt want to be going either... poor guy was as bored trapped in his hong kong hotel room as much as i was.
its been an interesting time.. i have seen 2 street fights in my street so far..
i have learned that british shop keepers are the rudest on earth. youre lucky if they even speak to you whilst taking your money.. its kind of like you should be grateful that they have a shop you can go into.. rather than being grateful that you walked in and chose to spend you money there in the first place. i did walk into one convenience shop down the road they they were most friendly.. so even tho it means walking an extra block, they will now be getting my custom... and screw the rude assholes in the shop just down the road.
they are also impossible on the foot path here.. i thought adelaide was aggressive on the footpath. here they walk all over the place.. and will not give way. so im feeling like i have to meander all over the pathway as im walking from A to B. people here are so rude,and just do not look at where they are going. they back up, turn without looking and generally dont give a crap about anyone else but themselves.
i had always thought that it was strange that visitors always remarked how friendly sydney was.. when being a sydney sider you think.. are we really??? but believe me.. compared to the UK.. we could all win the miss congeniality contest.
can you tell im british now.. having my official licence to whinge ??
on the plus side.. the weather had been great.. ok so its this dull grey sky all day.. but its been nice and warm.. most days i can wear just a light jacket outside.. and not be cold.. and wear just a tshirt in the house, with the window open.
have been exploring the myriad of pre-packed ready made, ready to heat meals that you can get here.. i mean...does anyone in britian actually cook these days?
grabbed one interesting one and ate it today.. it was a sure fire way to triple my carbon footprint. was a haloumi cheese with beans and lentils in a basil and tomato dressing. not sure what it was supposed to really be but i heated it and turns out it was like a bean and lentil stew. the microwaved haloumi was nice for a short time, while it was hot, but as soon as it cooled, it took on the consistency of vulcanised rubber. but was tasty none the less. luckily scott has gotten home tonight. the beans and lentils have sure taken their toll and raised the carbon emissions of Brighton by a few points, i can tell you.
tonights dinner was a somewhat tasty tom yum prawn curry. who knew tom yum came in a curry.. was ok.. but the prawns were like chewing pencil erasers. i think ill stick to cooking myself. might have a macaroni and cheese later.... have done nothing but eat since i arrived..
you know you must be getting bored when you start to clean everything. what started out as a general tidy up for scott before he got home, turned in to a marathon spring (or autumn in my case) clean. vacuumed the entire flat... scrubbed the shower screen.... even cleaned the toilet.. something i rarely did at home, rearranged a few things in the bedroom area, to make more space on the crowded floor which is packed with suitcases still, and folded all the linen in the house. sigh..
mind you.. will be worth the look on scotts face when he comes home from an arduous 12 hour flight and walks in to a nice clean home..... god im so domesticated, i could puke. has one man so well and truly tamed the wolf ?
its been an interesting time.. i have seen 2 street fights in my street so far..
i have learned that british shop keepers are the rudest on earth. youre lucky if they even speak to you whilst taking your money.. its kind of like you should be grateful that they have a shop you can go into.. rather than being grateful that you walked in and chose to spend you money there in the first place. i did walk into one convenience shop down the road they they were most friendly.. so even tho it means walking an extra block, they will now be getting my custom... and screw the rude assholes in the shop just down the road.
they are also impossible on the foot path here.. i thought adelaide was aggressive on the footpath. here they walk all over the place.. and will not give way. so im feeling like i have to meander all over the pathway as im walking from A to B. people here are so rude,and just do not look at where they are going. they back up, turn without looking and generally dont give a crap about anyone else but themselves.
i had always thought that it was strange that visitors always remarked how friendly sydney was.. when being a sydney sider you think.. are we really??? but believe me.. compared to the UK.. we could all win the miss congeniality contest.
can you tell im british now.. having my official licence to whinge ??
on the plus side.. the weather had been great.. ok so its this dull grey sky all day.. but its been nice and warm.. most days i can wear just a light jacket outside.. and not be cold.. and wear just a tshirt in the house, with the window open.
have been exploring the myriad of pre-packed ready made, ready to heat meals that you can get here.. i mean...does anyone in britian actually cook these days?
grabbed one interesting one and ate it today.. it was a sure fire way to triple my carbon footprint. was a haloumi cheese with beans and lentils in a basil and tomato dressing. not sure what it was supposed to really be but i heated it and turns out it was like a bean and lentil stew. the microwaved haloumi was nice for a short time, while it was hot, but as soon as it cooled, it took on the consistency of vulcanised rubber. but was tasty none the less. luckily scott has gotten home tonight. the beans and lentils have sure taken their toll and raised the carbon emissions of Brighton by a few points, i can tell you.
tonights dinner was a somewhat tasty tom yum prawn curry. who knew tom yum came in a curry.. was ok.. but the prawns were like chewing pencil erasers. i think ill stick to cooking myself. might have a macaroni and cheese later.... have done nothing but eat since i arrived..
you know you must be getting bored when you start to clean everything. what started out as a general tidy up for scott before he got home, turned in to a marathon spring (or autumn in my case) clean. vacuumed the entire flat... scrubbed the shower screen.... even cleaned the toilet.. something i rarely did at home, rearranged a few things in the bedroom area, to make more space on the crowded floor which is packed with suitcases still, and folded all the linen in the house. sigh..
mind you.. will be worth the look on scotts face when he comes home from an arduous 12 hour flight and walks in to a nice clean home..... god im so domesticated, i could puke. has one man so well and truly tamed the wolf ?
something the world shoud learn
i came across this article on ninemsn and thought i shoudl publish to the world... in advance for all those ungrateful, irate and crappy customers i may encounter.
Why long haul flights aren't so bad
By AFrosty / Lonely Planet
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The hosties
With airline competition so tough, today’s flight attendants are in outstanding customer-service nick. They happily get you anything while you do nothing. This is the kind of attention that you only get in the first month of a relationship. Enjoy it.
It’s a flying spiritual retreat
When your second bottle of red, the cabin pressure and someone else’s sleeping pill prescription kicks in, you get to fly higher than a pig in space with nothing else expected of you other than to wear a seatbelt. This is relaxation at its purest.
High dining
At least you don’t have to cook. Or chew. Or stack the dish washer. Even better is that you get to eat lying down and in front of the telly, a luxury reserved only for the chubby kids of divorced parents at the 'away' parents house.
Hollywood on demand
These days, movies on demand allow you to lock your brain in the overhead locker and point, click and dribble your way through a romantic comedy movie marathon while never having to go into battle for the remote.
The sea was angry that day, my friend
You can bang on about that defining moment in your life when you realized that being a fighter pilot wasn’t quite your bag of tricks or, with a tear in your eye, of the time you saved an entire orphanage from an inferno. The stuff of lore and legend.
Enough
You can tell the person next to you to stop talking.
You’re traveling
You’re going places, somewhere, anywhere, with nothing more than a pack full of gusto, an empty credit card and an adventure that needs to be had.
Why long haul flights aren't so bad
By AFrosty / Lonely Planet
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The hosties
With airline competition so tough, today’s flight attendants are in outstanding customer-service nick. They happily get you anything while you do nothing. This is the kind of attention that you only get in the first month of a relationship. Enjoy it.
It’s a flying spiritual retreat
When your second bottle of red, the cabin pressure and someone else’s sleeping pill prescription kicks in, you get to fly higher than a pig in space with nothing else expected of you other than to wear a seatbelt. This is relaxation at its purest.
High dining
At least you don’t have to cook. Or chew. Or stack the dish washer. Even better is that you get to eat lying down and in front of the telly, a luxury reserved only for the chubby kids of divorced parents at the 'away' parents house.
Hollywood on demand
These days, movies on demand allow you to lock your brain in the overhead locker and point, click and dribble your way through a romantic comedy movie marathon while never having to go into battle for the remote.
The sea was angry that day, my friend
You can bang on about that defining moment in your life when you realized that being a fighter pilot wasn’t quite your bag of tricks or, with a tear in your eye, of the time you saved an entire orphanage from an inferno. The stuff of lore and legend.
Enough
You can tell the person next to you to stop talking.
You’re traveling
You’re going places, somewhere, anywhere, with nothing more than a pack full of gusto, an empty credit card and an adventure that needs to be had.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Dan's first day on the job ??
and just had to show this amazing evacuation practice of the new airbus
and here are some of the previous groups of virgin training. im going to be group 633
and this one is for carolyn.
its not virgin but still shows what im about to go thru
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS8SCxCr3IQ
study break
well.. after 8 hours of study today
i have completed the induction modules.
i have coompleted about 60% of the crew training modules... but saving the big test for later on when i have had time to restudy all 7 of the cabin saftey components.
did complete the turbulence module, and did the exam at the end of that. only got 80% which is the pass mark, but i think that was mostly do to the questions not being worded very clearly and me thinking it was meaning something else, as knew all the content proficiently. so might take the exam again to see if i can improve on the 80%
ONCE TRAINING REALLY BEGINS I HAVE TO GET 88% !!!
i have completed the induction modules.
i have coompleted about 60% of the crew training modules... but saving the big test for later on when i have had time to restudy all 7 of the cabin saftey components.
did complete the turbulence module, and did the exam at the end of that. only got 80% which is the pass mark, but i think that was mostly do to the questions not being worded very clearly and me thinking it was meaning something else, as knew all the content proficiently. so might take the exam again to see if i can improve on the 80%
ONCE TRAINING REALLY BEGINS I HAVE TO GET 88% !!!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
time to study
ok world, time for an update
was here for a few days and then scotty left to go....... back to australia, can you fucking believe it?? his roster had him going back to sydney. its a 9 day trip for him
have been here 5 days on my own so far...... bored outta my brain. been playing computer games and watching season 2 of Mile High (comedy series about flight attendants)
have been for my uniform fitting... i look fantastic in it (well as fantastic as i can look).. i was a bit worried, since the FCm uniform was so crap and impossible for anyone to look good in.....
and like a true gay.. exclaimed loudly to the uniform lady and scotty and nigel (a mate of ours who is also starting same day) "oh my god the fabrics are amazing"
and then promptly realised what i said.
but really.. they are amazing.. no cheap materials, and the whole thing is fitted and tailored
paris.....first class.... international!!!!!
they have already sent me my precourse learning pack. theres a cd outlining the course we are about to undertake with a self test section on what was contained therein. fuck !!! talk about full on and we havent even started yet.
i have to now go online and do these e-learning modules, and its about 7-10 hours worth of study, and i have to attain at least 80% before they will let me attend the training course.
after that, pass mark for daily exams is 88% (they will own me for the next 6 weeks)
1 more week of freedom and then im knee deep in paperwork and study. been to the base already.. man the classrooms are in the shape of aircraft cabins. they even have a cockpit mock up to teach us how to get the pilots out of the seats in case they fall unconscious.
been to the pool for a swim, where they will teach us ditching excercises. have to swim 25 meters and then tread water, while manually blowing up a life jacket. just as well im well versed in blowing.
weather here is great..... cant beleiev its so warm..... has been warmer here than sydney i beleieve... most days in mid 20's which for autumn is incredible i have been told.
got nigel coming over today to study together... first of many many study sessions i think.
its been a very surreal experience being here and having scott in sydney.. total role reversal. my mates don and andy entertained scott while i was down there. scott has a lot of respect for them both and im glad they all got along, although i dread to think what was said about me.
was here for a few days and then scotty left to go....... back to australia, can you fucking believe it?? his roster had him going back to sydney. its a 9 day trip for him
have been here 5 days on my own so far...... bored outta my brain. been playing computer games and watching season 2 of Mile High (comedy series about flight attendants)
have been for my uniform fitting... i look fantastic in it (well as fantastic as i can look).. i was a bit worried, since the FCm uniform was so crap and impossible for anyone to look good in.....
and like a true gay.. exclaimed loudly to the uniform lady and scotty and nigel (a mate of ours who is also starting same day) "oh my god the fabrics are amazing"
and then promptly realised what i said.
but really.. they are amazing.. no cheap materials, and the whole thing is fitted and tailored
paris.....first class.... international!!!!!
they have already sent me my precourse learning pack. theres a cd outlining the course we are about to undertake with a self test section on what was contained therein. fuck !!! talk about full on and we havent even started yet.
i have to now go online and do these e-learning modules, and its about 7-10 hours worth of study, and i have to attain at least 80% before they will let me attend the training course.
after that, pass mark for daily exams is 88% (they will own me for the next 6 weeks)
1 more week of freedom and then im knee deep in paperwork and study. been to the base already.. man the classrooms are in the shape of aircraft cabins. they even have a cockpit mock up to teach us how to get the pilots out of the seats in case they fall unconscious.
been to the pool for a swim, where they will teach us ditching excercises. have to swim 25 meters and then tread water, while manually blowing up a life jacket. just as well im well versed in blowing.
weather here is great..... cant beleiev its so warm..... has been warmer here than sydney i beleieve... most days in mid 20's which for autumn is incredible i have been told.
got nigel coming over today to study together... first of many many study sessions i think.
its been a very surreal experience being here and having scott in sydney.. total role reversal. my mates don and andy entertained scott while i was down there. scott has a lot of respect for them both and im glad they all got along, although i dread to think what was said about me.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Alright gov ?
I think this song says it all.
it was a very emotional week in sydney. my emotions were like a rollercoaster, full of excitment and happiness that scott and i had finally made it and were now together and the teary sadness of constantly realising this was the end of a part of my life, for now.
tried to see everyone i could before i left. tried to organise a little going away party for myself to see all the people i missed out on, but not many turned up....some forgot and some were too busy with recovery from sleaze, so i guess i wasted a huge amount of money but those that were there were among the closest to me so i was happy about that.
the flight out of australia was full on emotional.... never want to go through that again, but the moment i got to hove and was in my new home, i was totally fine. scott even carried me across the threshold. adorable isnt he. the past few days have been bliss with the slow realisation that this is my new life and scott and i are together at last. this was definately the right decision and exactly where i want to be.
weather has been fantastic.. quite warm actually.... ok not as warm as the 36 degree heat of sydney in the week before i left, but certainly not as cold as i was lead to believe england would be. already got a bank account and a mobile phone. today i go to get my national insurance number and i have my uniform fitting for virgin!
been reading loads of books written by flight attendants to gte a feel for the lifestyle and the pitfalls. been studying the manuals and worrying about the exams.. but hey, its normal to stress about this and ill pass with flying colours i think. i already know so much so its just a matter of getting it cemented in my head.
scott leaves for a trip tomorrow.. can you beleive it..... sydney! he will be gone for 9 days.... and the flights are too full for me to go with him... so im stuck in the uk on my own for a week. shall use the time to clear out my emails and stuff like that.... and explore my new home!
currently life is wonderful and so i havent had time to miss sydney too much, anthough i do miss my mum. wont be long until i go home to see her anyway
Friday, September 28, 2007
reasons to be a flight attendant
foudn this on a wonderful site http://www.bootsnall.com/tk/jul01stewardess.shtml
Reasons To Be
A Flight Attendant
Free flights.
All the peanuts you can eat. (Nice when budgeting)
Cool overnights, i.e., being paid to be in Vegas for 25 hours can be a really sweet deal.
Slipping "We know you're in there" notes under the lavatory door to bust couples that thought they had snuck in without being seen.
Did we mention the free flights?
Getting a 10% in-uniform discount off our McDonalds fries in airports around the world.
Sometimes having 16-17 days off a month, if we worked our schedules right.
The wonderful and interesting people you meet (although you must be cautious due to people wanting to take advantage of our access to #10: see below).
Seeing the look on your friends' faces when they ask where you got a particular item they admire, and you reply, "Oh, Paris – I think. Or was it London?"
Free flights were a definite bonus. Sorry, did we already mention that one?
Reasons We Quit and/or
Are Glad We Quit
(Short Version)
The Rodney Dangerfield Syndrome: We get no respect.
The stench that fills an enclosed metal tube packed with dozing people that have been eating peanuts. 'Nuff said.
Having to deal with predicaments such as the following: You have 12 very fussy First Class passengers, and 12 meals for said passengers. When preparing the meals, you accidentally drop one entrée. Question: Does the five-second rule apply?
Not being able to get on our free flights to go on vacation because they're overbooked, or because too many employees senior to us had the exact same idea. In this scenario free flights suck.
Having people say "BuhBye" with a snicker as they deplane, as if they are the only ones that watch Saturday Night Live. Here's a hint: It's not original, and not even mildly amusing.
One word: Turbulence.
Here are two more: Airline food.
Having to stand in the aisle and dutifully perform the pre-flight safety demonstration, only to look around to see that absolutely no one on the plane is paying attention. (Or, if they are, it's likely that your zipper is down)
Making plans to go out to dinner with the crew on an overnight and then cringing when the pilots show up in tracksuits, tube socks, and bright white tennis shoes.
Being trapped in a corner of the First Class galley while Scott Baio attempts a conversation with you. (F.Y.I.: Scott Baio has halitosis and hates Pittsburgh.)
Having to endure six weeks of unpaid training, which includes how to pour wine at 35,000 feet, but neglects teaching how to maneuver rollerboards on escalators.
The realization that our pantyhose and belts were much tighter (a.k.a. "Boeing belly") at the end of a four-day trip, and then having to wait a 24-hour period for our bodies to return to normal, post-airplane-bloat size.
3am wake-up calls from scheduling, asking "What do you want to do today?" before assigning a trip that leaves in two hours anyway.
Having passengers ask three hours into a flight, "What is that down there?" (while pointing to a speck of land, or spot of blue that looks suspiciously like a body of water), then having them give you a dissatisfied look when you tell them you're really not sure.
Wondering how to professionally reply to the 6'2", 230-lb businessman who just asked you to lift his overstuffed 70-lb suitcase into the overhead bin.
Having to bite our tongues as people moan about "the seats getting smaller" when we really want to shout "The seats are the same freakin' size! Maybe your arse is getting larger!"
The uniforms. The luxurious blue polyester "little man suits" (as we liked to call them) and housecoat dresses left us feeling decidedly unfeminine and frumpy.
Finding out that the rumors of being able to have "a man in every port" just isn't workable. Frankly, it's too confusing and exhausting. (Disclaimer: We do not speak from personal experience on this one – but from observing our old roommate, who shall remain nameless.)
Screaming children that despise being strapped down for hours on end, and cannot be reasoned with. ("Would you like some cookies? No? How about some juice? No? Well, you have to keep your seatbelt on Honey... you really don't want to be thrown forcibly in to the ceiling and have your head split open, do you?")
Other passengers that ask you to do something to quiet #19.
Working flights from New York City to West Palm Beach and vice versa.
Receiving calls from long-lost "friends" who ask for a buddy pass after five minutes of catching up.
Finding dirty diapers stuck in seat back pockets.
Having to stare at 100 laps several times a day during seatbelt checks while trying to ignore the grins from badly mistaken males that believe you are merely using it as an excuse to check them out... THEN... Later having to toss a blanket over the laps of those males while they are sleeping and obviously dreaming about seatbelt checks. (That's right guys: if you wake up on a flight and discover a blanket that wasn't there before, be very embarrassed.)
Developing painful bunions and unsightly varicose veins.
That mysterious crud that builds up in one's nose during long flights.
Having to endure countless... ahhhhhh... looooonnng... weellllllll... drawn out... hmmmm... announcements from... uuummmmm... the flight deck.
Having someone stop us in an airport we pass through maybe once a year, to ask us where Baco-Burger or gate such-and-such is.
Arriving at our overnight hotel at 3 AM, after a 15-hour day, totally exhausted, only to find that, for some inexplicable reason, our rooms won't be ready for another 20 minutes.
This one question in particular: "So, is this your route?" We found that we were spending way too much time attempting to explain (after being asked for the umpteenth time) our so-called "routes" and schedules. This question just might have been the straw that broke these flight attendants' backs.
Reasons To Be
A Flight Attendant
Free flights.
All the peanuts you can eat. (Nice when budgeting)
Cool overnights, i.e., being paid to be in Vegas for 25 hours can be a really sweet deal.
Slipping "We know you're in there" notes under the lavatory door to bust couples that thought they had snuck in without being seen.
Did we mention the free flights?
Getting a 10% in-uniform discount off our McDonalds fries in airports around the world.
Sometimes having 16-17 days off a month, if we worked our schedules right.
The wonderful and interesting people you meet (although you must be cautious due to people wanting to take advantage of our access to #10: see below).
Seeing the look on your friends' faces when they ask where you got a particular item they admire, and you reply, "Oh, Paris – I think. Or was it London?"
Free flights were a definite bonus. Sorry, did we already mention that one?
Reasons We Quit and/or
Are Glad We Quit
(Short Version)
The Rodney Dangerfield Syndrome: We get no respect.
The stench that fills an enclosed metal tube packed with dozing people that have been eating peanuts. 'Nuff said.
Having to deal with predicaments such as the following: You have 12 very fussy First Class passengers, and 12 meals for said passengers. When preparing the meals, you accidentally drop one entrée. Question: Does the five-second rule apply?
Not being able to get on our free flights to go on vacation because they're overbooked, or because too many employees senior to us had the exact same idea. In this scenario free flights suck.
Having people say "BuhBye" with a snicker as they deplane, as if they are the only ones that watch Saturday Night Live. Here's a hint: It's not original, and not even mildly amusing.
One word: Turbulence.
Here are two more: Airline food.
Having to stand in the aisle and dutifully perform the pre-flight safety demonstration, only to look around to see that absolutely no one on the plane is paying attention. (Or, if they are, it's likely that your zipper is down)
Making plans to go out to dinner with the crew on an overnight and then cringing when the pilots show up in tracksuits, tube socks, and bright white tennis shoes.
Being trapped in a corner of the First Class galley while Scott Baio attempts a conversation with you. (F.Y.I.: Scott Baio has halitosis and hates Pittsburgh.)
Having to endure six weeks of unpaid training, which includes how to pour wine at 35,000 feet, but neglects teaching how to maneuver rollerboards on escalators.
The realization that our pantyhose and belts were much tighter (a.k.a. "Boeing belly") at the end of a four-day trip, and then having to wait a 24-hour period for our bodies to return to normal, post-airplane-bloat size.
3am wake-up calls from scheduling, asking "What do you want to do today?" before assigning a trip that leaves in two hours anyway.
Having passengers ask three hours into a flight, "What is that down there?" (while pointing to a speck of land, or spot of blue that looks suspiciously like a body of water), then having them give you a dissatisfied look when you tell them you're really not sure.
Wondering how to professionally reply to the 6'2", 230-lb businessman who just asked you to lift his overstuffed 70-lb suitcase into the overhead bin.
Having to bite our tongues as people moan about "the seats getting smaller" when we really want to shout "The seats are the same freakin' size! Maybe your arse is getting larger!"
The uniforms. The luxurious blue polyester "little man suits" (as we liked to call them) and housecoat dresses left us feeling decidedly unfeminine and frumpy.
Finding out that the rumors of being able to have "a man in every port" just isn't workable. Frankly, it's too confusing and exhausting. (Disclaimer: We do not speak from personal experience on this one – but from observing our old roommate, who shall remain nameless.)
Screaming children that despise being strapped down for hours on end, and cannot be reasoned with. ("Would you like some cookies? No? How about some juice? No? Well, you have to keep your seatbelt on Honey... you really don't want to be thrown forcibly in to the ceiling and have your head split open, do you?")
Other passengers that ask you to do something to quiet #19.
Working flights from New York City to West Palm Beach and vice versa.
Receiving calls from long-lost "friends" who ask for a buddy pass after five minutes of catching up.
Finding dirty diapers stuck in seat back pockets.
Having to stare at 100 laps several times a day during seatbelt checks while trying to ignore the grins from badly mistaken males that believe you are merely using it as an excuse to check them out... THEN... Later having to toss a blanket over the laps of those males while they are sleeping and obviously dreaming about seatbelt checks. (That's right guys: if you wake up on a flight and discover a blanket that wasn't there before, be very embarrassed.)
Developing painful bunions and unsightly varicose veins.
That mysterious crud that builds up in one's nose during long flights.
Having to endure countless... ahhhhhh... looooonnng... weellllllll... drawn out... hmmmm... announcements from... uuummmmm... the flight deck.
Having someone stop us in an airport we pass through maybe once a year, to ask us where Baco-Burger or gate such-and-such is.
Arriving at our overnight hotel at 3 AM, after a 15-hour day, totally exhausted, only to find that, for some inexplicable reason, our rooms won't be ready for another 20 minutes.
This one question in particular: "So, is this your route?" We found that we were spending way too much time attempting to explain (after being asked for the umpteenth time) our so-called "routes" and schedules. This question just might have been the straw that broke these flight attendants' backs.
Its time to go..................... Daniel !
last day at work !! caught a cab in this morning, thought i would travel in style (plus i had so much work crap to bring in)
Smiled bittersweetly at my last south to north harbour bridge crossing. Sydney has put on a glorious day today, with a top of 28 expected.
so kinda just need to sit around waiting for a handover meeting, with not much to do, then a long boozy lunch, followed by an exit interview, then im free and can leave the big brother house ! well feels like that a bit.
woke at 5.30 this morning, all ready to get up and go to work.. weird never been able to do that before.... except when im flying interstate. rang scott, he got ont he London to Hong Kong leg... but the flight out of Hong Kong to Sydney is full so fingers crossed for some no-shows otherwise he will be stuck in HK overnight, for lord knows how long.
so.. thats it.... next thursday 4 oct Dan will be leaving on a big jet plane, and he dont know when he'll be back again.
but its not all sad, although i think ill be bawling my eyes out come the day.
but scott will take my hand and lead me off into my bright future. who knows what adventures mighty mouse and wolf pup will have, but i know its going to be filled with fun and merriment. (and a very cold british winter..hahaha)
on the plus side, the Aussie dollar is getting.4346 pence.. (the highest its been in 1 year has been .4348) so ill be getting more bang for my buck!
not sure if i will have the chance to get back online before i goas i have cut off my home internet, so thats bye for me for now, and will update after i get to good old Blighty !
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Home Stretch
2 Days to go !!!Had a fantastic dinner last night with Anna, down at the Bavarian Beer Cafe. got rather tipsy. quelle surprise!
woke this morning, happy knowing today is my last day in this uniform. threw my dirtys in the washtub and only have one shirt and pair of pants to wash tonight and I'm done !! YAY!
got a little sad this morning going over the bridge, thinking, its the 2nd last time i get to cross it in the morning. But the thought of Scott made me smile in the end.
hard to believe that after 7 months of separation and distance, and totally commitment to making this work, in 45 hours, when i see him next, that's it! we are together! we made it!
Nothing in this world can make me happier, than being by his side. (Anna commented last night that she cant believe I've gone soppy. Dan is so not the soppy type..) but i guess once you have met "the one" rules go out the window, everything changes. and i wouldn't have it any other way.
have only 2 hours actual work to do today and then... what the heck am i to do for the rest of the day ??
Hmmm i know..
OH MY GOD !!! look at the urinals in the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse !!!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The Final Countdown Continues
3 Days to go.
Actually thought this last night as i lay in bed, and then all of a sudden it hit me...shit! only 3 days to go...in a anxiety ridden moment.... what the Fuck am i about to do.. giving up my job.. moving to the other side of the world.... away from all my friends and support network...to a place where i virtually know no-one. my blood ran cold and my heart raced (although it may have been the wine)
Then i thought of Scotty, and knew that no matter what, i would be ok. And all this angst of seperation and long distance thing will be but a memory and our relationship will be so strong because of how hard we have fought to make it work.
Still a bit nervous but also excited so im a bit Sybill at the moment.
running out of things to do at work now. when im not training or designing training courses, there isnt a lot to do, and since theres no point training or designing smething new.. im kinda left to just tidy up and try to pass on IP to everyone i think needs it.
got soooooooo bored yesterday as really did by 4pm, have totally nothing to do.
Penultimate steak night last night..... its weird when you meet someone new, at this stage, its like how much time do you invest on getting to know them? (there was a newbie at the dinner)
sat across from Ian, and got this really weird vibe go through me, at how important it is to really appreciate those you hold dear, as you dont always know how long you have them in front of you. Don and Andy gave me mum some lovely Gerlaton Wax (its a flower) for her birthday, so she was pretty chuffed.
Scott will be boarding his flight from LA soon... and thank fully by 11pm tonight we wil be back on track to call and talk for hours. (it really is enough to make you sick)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Final Countdown
4 Days to go, and work is....O.V.A.H Ovah!
just wishing it was all over and done with. getting a bit sad now as these days are starting to fill with goodbyes, and im getting a little sad. Im trying to be brave and trying to remain distant and hard hearted, otherwise i think ill be constantly crying.
Mum's birthday today, little possum that she is, she's not up to going out tonigh as still got the brace on her leg, but hoping by thursday she will be ok. Got steak night tonight witht he boys. not sure if this si the final steak night or the penultimate, so going to just enjoy it while i can.
Scott sounds like he is having fun in LA. Hoping he can make it down here by Saturday. Flight is looking rather full, but he does have high priority so fingers crossed he doesnt spend all of his trip in HKG !!
submitted final expenses today.... got to hand in the uniform on friday.. so casual friday for me !! yay!
Rona came up from Melbourne and we went for our final lobster dinner at Golden Century, down in chinatown. wont be affording lobster in UK, im betting.. not on a flight attendants wages.
sigh - best get back to work, while i can.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Its the Final Countdown!
Ok world, we are currently 5 days away from finishing work.. (well technically 4.5 days, or 36 hours, but who's counting)
spent a wonderful weekend, catching up and chilling with those nearest and dearest.
Thanks to the ever perennial hosts Don and Andy, for a suberb dinner on saturday nightand managed to have a surprise guest at their house for dinner, Crofty so managed to see hmi before i left.
Shopped for my latest little toy on saturday... ok went slightly over budget but scored a great deal (saved $150!!!!) a new Sony digital camcorder!! learning how to use it tho. important function, it has nightshot and super night shot.. for all those darkened room home movies i may wish to make.. lol
Sunday i got to meet my nieces boyfriend (she also turned 17 on sunday) and then spent the arvo chilling out with Ian and David.
couldnt have asked for a nicer way to spend a weekend.
Scott is in LA at the moment.. so hanging out for him to get a phone card so we can talk, or ill have to wait until thursday. GRRR !
unconscious mutterings
Not done one for a while so here goes.
- Singles :: Kraft cheese slices
- Blaze :: a trail
- Sandwich :: pastrami on rye, hold the mayo!
- Outside :: George Michael
- Gooey :: snot
- Industry :: Travel
- Exclusive :: snobbery
- Warranty :: for an arresty?
- Magical :: Scott
- Heels :: hmm scott again?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Disturbing
Just heard the most disturbing thing on the radio.
A cover version of the Divinyls "i touch myself"
but sung by a young girls choir from Belgium called Scala.
its just not right! but very funny to listen to.
On a lighter side
A cover version of the Divinyls "i touch myself"
but sung by a young girls choir from Belgium called Scala.
its just not right! but very funny to listen to.
On a lighter side
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
You Came
Someone I know is staring at me
And when I look into his eyes
I see a boy that I used to be
I hardly recognise
Cos in the space of a year
Ive watched the old me disappear
All of the things I once held precious
Just dont mean anything anymore
Cos suddenly
You came, and changed the way I feel
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place
Ive never felt good with permanent things
Now I dont want anything to change
You cant imagine the joy you bring
My life wont be the same
And Ill be there when you call
Ill pick you up if you should fall
Cos I have never felt such inspiration
Nobody else ever gave me more because
You came, and changed the way I feel
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place
I watch you sleep in the still of the night
You look so pretty when you dream
So many people just go through life
Holding back, they dont say what they mean
But its easy for me
Since you came
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place
You came, and changed the way I feel
No one could love you more
Because you came and turned my life around
No one could take your place
Monday, September 17, 2007
whacky laws around the world !!
HERE is a list of the world's most ridiculous laws or urban myths - were not quite sure... let us know which ones you think are real.
- In Victoria Australia, only a licensed electrician is allowed to change a lightbulb.
- In Victoria Australia it is forbidden to wear pink hot pants after mid-day on a Sunday.
- It England, it is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
- It England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
- It England, it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
- In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
- Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.
- In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.
- In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.
- Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.
- In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
- In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.
- In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.
- In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
- In the UK, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.
- In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.
- In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.
- In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.
- In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.
- In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.
- In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
- In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
- In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to “own” a pet – the town’s citizens, legally speaking, are merely “pet minders”.
- In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
- In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
- In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.
- The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.
- In Eureka, Nevada, USA, it is still illegal for men with moustaches to kiss women.
- In Alexandria, Minnesota, USA, it is still illegal for a man who has garlic, onions or sardines on his breath to have sex with his wife.
- In Logan County, Colorado, USA, it is still illegal to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
- In Providence, Rhode Island, USA, it is still illegal for shop owners to sell toothpaste and toothbrushes to the same customer on a Sunday.
- In Zion, Illinois, USA, it is still illegal to offer cigars to your pets.
- In St. Louis, Missouri, USA, it is still illegal for firemen to rescue women who are still in their nightdresses.
- In Ames, Iowa, USA, it is still illegal for men to have three sips of beer while they are in bed with their wives.
- In Maryland, USA, it is still illegal for radio stations to play Randy Newman's song 'Short people'.
- In Oklahoma, USA, it is still illegal to make faces at a dog, a crime that could result in a prison sentence.
- In Texas, USA, criminals are still required to give their victims at least 24 hours oral or written notice giving details of the crime they are about to commit.
- In Washington, USA, it is still an offence to pretend that you have rich parents.
- In Baltimore, Maryland, USA, it is still an offence to take a lion into a cinema.
- In Tremonton, Utah, USA, it is still an offence for a woman to have sexual intercourse with a man in an ambulance. She can be charged with a misdemeanour and have her name printed in the local paper.
- In Oxford, Ohio, USA, it is still illegal for a woman to undress in front of a picture of a man.
- In Miami, Florida, USA, it is still illegal for anyone to imitate an animal.
- In Afghanistan the Taliban militia banned women from wearing white socks just in case men find them attractive. The police are also ordered windows to be painted black to stop women being seen from the outside.
- In the USA impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 states.
- In Illinois, USA, it is against the law to give a lighted cigar to a pet.
- In Iowa, USA, it is against the law to kiss for more than five minutes.
- In International Falls, Minnesota, USA, it is against the law for a dog to chase a cat up a telegraph pole and dog owners can be fined for this.
- In Kentucky, USA, it is illegal to carry and ice cream cone in your pocket.
- In Louisiana, USA, if you bite someone with your own teeth it is classed as 'Simple assault' but if you bite someone with your dentures it is classed as 'aggravated assault.'
- In Massachusetts, USA, it is illegal for mourners to eat no more than three sandwiches at a wake.
- In Chico, California, USA, the law says that anybody who detonates a nuclear device within the city limits is liable to a fine of $500.
- In Lebanon any man may legally have sex with any animal just as long as it is a female.
- In Conorsville, Wisconsin, USA, it is illegal for a man to fire a gun while his wife is having an orgasm.
- In Tremonton, Utah, USA, it is illegal for a woman to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance.
- In Oblong, Illinois, it is illegal to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
- In Bahrain it is illegal for a doctor to look directly at a woman's genitals while he is examining her although he is permitted to see their reflection in a mirror.
- In Ames, Iowa, USA, a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
- In Hastings, Nebraska, USA, the law says that hotel owners have to provide a clean white cotton nightshirt for each guest. Also no couples are allowed to have sex in the hotel unless they are wearing these nightshirts.
- In Willowdale, Oregon, USA, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
- In Indonesia the punishment for masturbation is execution by decapitation.
- In Kingsville, Texas, USA, it is against the law for pigs to have sex on airport property.
- In Florida it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine.
- During World War I anyone found to be a homosexual in the French army was executed.
- Hundreds of years ago in Japan anyone who attempted to leave the country was instantly executed.
- The very first country to abolish capital punishment was Austria in 1787.
- In Wetaskiwin, Alberta, Canada, in 1917, it was illegal to tie a male horse next to a female horse.
- In San Diego, USA, hypnotism is banned by public schools.
- Chewing gum is illegal in Singapore.
- In Paraguay duelling is legal just as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
- In Milan, Italy, there is still a law that requires citizens to smile at all times or risk a hefty fine. The only exceptions are visiting hospitals and funerals.
- In Switzerland every citizen is required by law to have access to a bomb shelter.
- In Burma it is illegal to get internet access. If a person is found in possession of a modem he can be imprisoned.
- In Bangladesh it is against the law for schoolchildren to cheat at school exams. Pupils as young as 15 can be imprisoned for this.
- Until 1984 Belgians were made to choose their children's names from a list of 1500 drawn up in the days of Napoleon.
- In Romania, in 1935, Mickey Mouse was banned because the authorities thought that the sight of a 10ft high rodent on screen would terrify the nation's children.
- Donald Duck comics were once banned in Finland because he never wore pants.
- Belgium is the only country that has never imposed censorship on adult films.
- Karate films were banned in Iraq in 1979.
- In Indiana, USA, during the 1950's, all Robin Hood films were banned because authorities thought that robbing the rich to give to the poor was an act of communism.
- In Iceland it was once against the law to own a pet dog.
- The bloodhound is the only animal in the world whose evidence is admissable in court.
- In Basle, Switzerland, in 1471, a cockerel was found guilty in a court of law for laying an egg "In defiance of natural law". The bird was then burnt at the stake as a "Devil in disguise".
- In Stelvio, Italy, in 1519, a court issued a warrant for the arrest of a gang of moles that had severely damaged crops. The moles were sumoned to court but when they failed to appear they were sentenced to exile.
- In South Bend, Indiana, USA, a monkey was once found guilty of smoking a cigarette.
- In Munster, in 1670, the courts banished a plague of fleas from the city, prohibiting them from returning for ten years.
- In Seville, Spain, in 1983, an alsatian dog was arrested for snatching handbags from shoppers.
- Judge J.H. Logan from California, USA, created the Loganberry fruit. He crossed a wild blackberry with a cultivated raspberry and came up with his own fruit.
- In ancient Sparta men were required by law to eat at least two pounds of meat every day. This was supposed to make them brave.
- In Turkey, during the 16th and 17th centuries, it was illegal to drink coffee and anyone caught doing so was sentenced to death.
- In Venice all gondolas have to be painted black unless they belong to a high ranking official.
- In England, in 1865, a law was passed stating that any self propelled carriage on an English highway had to have a crew of three, one of whom had to walk in front of the carriage with a red flag to warn horse drawn vehicles of it's approach.
- In Rome, 2,000 years ago, Julius Caesar banned chariots from the centre of Rome to ease congestion.
- In London, England, there is still a law that states London Taxi cabs must carry a bale of hay at all times.
- In Bermuda, up until 1948, all private cars were banned.
- At one time it was against the law to slam car doors in Switzerland.
- In Britain, in 1888, a law was passed which stated that every cyclist had to constantly ring the bell on his bicycle non-stop while the machine was moving.
- In Singapore it is illegal for a person to walk around the house naked and not flushing the toilet. Also a person can be executed if they are found in possession of more than 200g of cannabis resin. Oral sex is banned unless it is used only during foreplay and if a person is caught littering the streets he is forced to make an appearance on TV with a bib around his neck saying "I'm a litterer."
- In Birmingham, England, it is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex on church steps after sundwon.
- In Iowa, USA, it is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants.
- In Denmark it is not illegal for a convicted prisoner to escape from prison. If the escapee is caught he only serves the rest of his sentence.
- In Denmark it is illegal to start your car without first checking to see if there are any children asleep underneath it.
- In Thailand it is illegal to step on a banknote, leave your house without wearing underwear and if you drop a piece of bubblegum on the pavement you can be fined $600.
- In Thailand all cinema goers must stand up during the National Anthem before a film starts.
- In Switzerland it is against the law for men to urinate standing up after 10pm which is the same time that it is illegal to flush the toilet.
- In Canada, by law, 1 out of every 5 songs on the radio must be sung by a Canadian and in British Columbia it is illegal to kill a Sasquatch or Bigfoot if one is ever found.
- In Alberta a released convict is entitled to a gun and a horse to ride out of town on.
- In London, England, it is illegal to use a camera tripod, throw a stick for your dog or use an offensive powder like pepper on your jacket potato in any park.
- In London, England, wife beating is legal just as long as it is not after 9pm and it doesn't disturb the neighbours.
- In London, England, it is illegal to impersonate a Chelsea pensioner which once carried the death sentence in the 19th century.
- In Lebanon men are allowed to have sex with any other animal just as long as it is a female. If a man is caught having sex with a male animal then the penalty is death.
- Non-Christians have been banned from being within 20 metres of churches in Rovato, Italy. The move, instigated by the local government, has angered police because a major highway passes within 15 metres of one of the churches. Officers claim that they cannot be expected to stop motorists and demand to see a Baptism Certificate.
- North Carolina has a law to ban people from swearing in front of cadavers. The law also sets out guidelines transporting the recently deceased after one funeral firm was caught piling stiffs onto the back of a pick-up truck. It outlaws 'profanity, indecent or obscene language in the presence of a dead human body' making it technically illegal to say the 'f' word in front of a hearse!
- In Minnesota, USA, it is still against the law to hang male and female underwear together on the same washing line.
- In Indiana, USA, in the 1950's anything to do with Robin Hood was banned on the grounds that robbing from from the rich to give to the poor was a communist act!
- In England, in 1837, a law was passed that entitled a woman to bite off a man's nose if he kissed her against her will!
- The Egyptian government banned male belly-dancing in 1837 because of the enthusiastic riots that it caused.
- In Arizona, USA, it is illegal to hunt camels.
- In California, USA, in 1986, Judge Samuel King became so annoyed that jurors were absent from his court because of heavy rain that he issued a decree which stated "I hereby order that it cease raining by Tuesday."
Amazingly it stopped raining on Tuesday and California suffered a 5 year drought.
In 1991 the judge then decreed "Rain shall fall in California beginning February 27th." Later that day California had the heaviest rainfall in ten years.
- In Alexandria, Minneapolis, USA, it is against the law for a man to make love to a woman with the smell of sardines on his breath.
- In Victoria Australia, only a licensed electrician is allowed to change a lightbulb.
- In Victoria Australia it is forbidden to wear pink hot pants after mid-day on a Sunday.
- It England, it is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
- It England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
- It England, it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
- In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
- Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.
- In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.
- In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.
- Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.
- In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
- In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.
- In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.
- In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
- In the UK, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.
- In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.
- In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.
- In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.
- In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.
- In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.
- In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
- In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
- In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to “own” a pet – the town’s citizens, legally speaking, are merely “pet minders”.
- In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
- In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
- In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.
- The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.
- In Eureka, Nevada, USA, it is still illegal for men with moustaches to kiss women.
- In Alexandria, Minnesota, USA, it is still illegal for a man who has garlic, onions or sardines on his breath to have sex with his wife.
- In Logan County, Colorado, USA, it is still illegal to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
- In Providence, Rhode Island, USA, it is still illegal for shop owners to sell toothpaste and toothbrushes to the same customer on a Sunday.
- In Zion, Illinois, USA, it is still illegal to offer cigars to your pets.
- In St. Louis, Missouri, USA, it is still illegal for firemen to rescue women who are still in their nightdresses.
- In Ames, Iowa, USA, it is still illegal for men to have three sips of beer while they are in bed with their wives.
- In Maryland, USA, it is still illegal for radio stations to play Randy Newman's song 'Short people'.
- In Oklahoma, USA, it is still illegal to make faces at a dog, a crime that could result in a prison sentence.
- In Texas, USA, criminals are still required to give their victims at least 24 hours oral or written notice giving details of the crime they are about to commit.
- In Washington, USA, it is still an offence to pretend that you have rich parents.
- In Baltimore, Maryland, USA, it is still an offence to take a lion into a cinema.
- In Tremonton, Utah, USA, it is still an offence for a woman to have sexual intercourse with a man in an ambulance. She can be charged with a misdemeanour and have her name printed in the local paper.
- In Oxford, Ohio, USA, it is still illegal for a woman to undress in front of a picture of a man.
- In Miami, Florida, USA, it is still illegal for anyone to imitate an animal.
- In Afghanistan the Taliban militia banned women from wearing white socks just in case men find them attractive. The police are also ordered windows to be painted black to stop women being seen from the outside.
- In the USA impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 states.
- In Illinois, USA, it is against the law to give a lighted cigar to a pet.
- In Iowa, USA, it is against the law to kiss for more than five minutes.
- In International Falls, Minnesota, USA, it is against the law for a dog to chase a cat up a telegraph pole and dog owners can be fined for this.
- In Kentucky, USA, it is illegal to carry and ice cream cone in your pocket.
- In Louisiana, USA, if you bite someone with your own teeth it is classed as 'Simple assault' but if you bite someone with your dentures it is classed as 'aggravated assault.'
- In Massachusetts, USA, it is illegal for mourners to eat no more than three sandwiches at a wake.
- In Chico, California, USA, the law says that anybody who detonates a nuclear device within the city limits is liable to a fine of $500.
- In Lebanon any man may legally have sex with any animal just as long as it is a female.
- In Conorsville, Wisconsin, USA, it is illegal for a man to fire a gun while his wife is having an orgasm.
- In Tremonton, Utah, USA, it is illegal for a woman to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance.
- In Oblong, Illinois, it is illegal to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
- In Bahrain it is illegal for a doctor to look directly at a woman's genitals while he is examining her although he is permitted to see their reflection in a mirror.
- In Ames, Iowa, USA, a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
- In Hastings, Nebraska, USA, the law says that hotel owners have to provide a clean white cotton nightshirt for each guest. Also no couples are allowed to have sex in the hotel unless they are wearing these nightshirts.
- In Willowdale, Oregon, USA, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
- In Indonesia the punishment for masturbation is execution by decapitation.
- In Kingsville, Texas, USA, it is against the law for pigs to have sex on airport property.
- In Florida it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine.
- During World War I anyone found to be a homosexual in the French army was executed.
- Hundreds of years ago in Japan anyone who attempted to leave the country was instantly executed.
- The very first country to abolish capital punishment was Austria in 1787.
- In Wetaskiwin, Alberta, Canada, in 1917, it was illegal to tie a male horse next to a female horse.
- In San Diego, USA, hypnotism is banned by public schools.
- Chewing gum is illegal in Singapore.
- In Paraguay duelling is legal just as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
- In Milan, Italy, there is still a law that requires citizens to smile at all times or risk a hefty fine. The only exceptions are visiting hospitals and funerals.
- In Switzerland every citizen is required by law to have access to a bomb shelter.
- In Burma it is illegal to get internet access. If a person is found in possession of a modem he can be imprisoned.
- In Bangladesh it is against the law for schoolchildren to cheat at school exams. Pupils as young as 15 can be imprisoned for this.
- Until 1984 Belgians were made to choose their children's names from a list of 1500 drawn up in the days of Napoleon.
- In Romania, in 1935, Mickey Mouse was banned because the authorities thought that the sight of a 10ft high rodent on screen would terrify the nation's children.
- Donald Duck comics were once banned in Finland because he never wore pants.
- Belgium is the only country that has never imposed censorship on adult films.
- Karate films were banned in Iraq in 1979.
- In Indiana, USA, during the 1950's, all Robin Hood films were banned because authorities thought that robbing the rich to give to the poor was an act of communism.
- In Iceland it was once against the law to own a pet dog.
- The bloodhound is the only animal in the world whose evidence is admissable in court.
- In Basle, Switzerland, in 1471, a cockerel was found guilty in a court of law for laying an egg "In defiance of natural law". The bird was then burnt at the stake as a "Devil in disguise".
- In Stelvio, Italy, in 1519, a court issued a warrant for the arrest of a gang of moles that had severely damaged crops. The moles were sumoned to court but when they failed to appear they were sentenced to exile.
- In South Bend, Indiana, USA, a monkey was once found guilty of smoking a cigarette.
- In Munster, in 1670, the courts banished a plague of fleas from the city, prohibiting them from returning for ten years.
- In Seville, Spain, in 1983, an alsatian dog was arrested for snatching handbags from shoppers.
- Judge J.H. Logan from California, USA, created the Loganberry fruit. He crossed a wild blackberry with a cultivated raspberry and came up with his own fruit.
- In ancient Sparta men were required by law to eat at least two pounds of meat every day. This was supposed to make them brave.
- In Turkey, during the 16th and 17th centuries, it was illegal to drink coffee and anyone caught doing so was sentenced to death.
- In Venice all gondolas have to be painted black unless they belong to a high ranking official.
- In England, in 1865, a law was passed stating that any self propelled carriage on an English highway had to have a crew of three, one of whom had to walk in front of the carriage with a red flag to warn horse drawn vehicles of it's approach.
- In Rome, 2,000 years ago, Julius Caesar banned chariots from the centre of Rome to ease congestion.
- In London, England, there is still a law that states London Taxi cabs must carry a bale of hay at all times.
- In Bermuda, up until 1948, all private cars were banned.
- At one time it was against the law to slam car doors in Switzerland.
- In Britain, in 1888, a law was passed which stated that every cyclist had to constantly ring the bell on his bicycle non-stop while the machine was moving.
- In Singapore it is illegal for a person to walk around the house naked and not flushing the toilet. Also a person can be executed if they are found in possession of more than 200g of cannabis resin. Oral sex is banned unless it is used only during foreplay and if a person is caught littering the streets he is forced to make an appearance on TV with a bib around his neck saying "I'm a litterer."
- In Birmingham, England, it is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex on church steps after sundwon.
- In Iowa, USA, it is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants.
- In Denmark it is not illegal for a convicted prisoner to escape from prison. If the escapee is caught he only serves the rest of his sentence.
- In Denmark it is illegal to start your car without first checking to see if there are any children asleep underneath it.
- In Thailand it is illegal to step on a banknote, leave your house without wearing underwear and if you drop a piece of bubblegum on the pavement you can be fined $600.
- In Thailand all cinema goers must stand up during the National Anthem before a film starts.
- In Switzerland it is against the law for men to urinate standing up after 10pm which is the same time that it is illegal to flush the toilet.
- In Canada, by law, 1 out of every 5 songs on the radio must be sung by a Canadian and in British Columbia it is illegal to kill a Sasquatch or Bigfoot if one is ever found.
- In Alberta a released convict is entitled to a gun and a horse to ride out of town on.
- In London, England, it is illegal to use a camera tripod, throw a stick for your dog or use an offensive powder like pepper on your jacket potato in any park.
- In London, England, wife beating is legal just as long as it is not after 9pm and it doesn't disturb the neighbours.
- In London, England, it is illegal to impersonate a Chelsea pensioner which once carried the death sentence in the 19th century.
- In Lebanon men are allowed to have sex with any other animal just as long as it is a female. If a man is caught having sex with a male animal then the penalty is death.
- Non-Christians have been banned from being within 20 metres of churches in Rovato, Italy. The move, instigated by the local government, has angered police because a major highway passes within 15 metres of one of the churches. Officers claim that they cannot be expected to stop motorists and demand to see a Baptism Certificate.
- North Carolina has a law to ban people from swearing in front of cadavers. The law also sets out guidelines transporting the recently deceased after one funeral firm was caught piling stiffs onto the back of a pick-up truck. It outlaws 'profanity, indecent or obscene language in the presence of a dead human body' making it technically illegal to say the 'f' word in front of a hearse!
- In Minnesota, USA, it is still against the law to hang male and female underwear together on the same washing line.
- In Indiana, USA, in the 1950's anything to do with Robin Hood was banned on the grounds that robbing from from the rich to give to the poor was a communist act!
- In England, in 1837, a law was passed that entitled a woman to bite off a man's nose if he kissed her against her will!
- The Egyptian government banned male belly-dancing in 1837 because of the enthusiastic riots that it caused.
- In Arizona, USA, it is illegal to hunt camels.
- In California, USA, in 1986, Judge Samuel King became so annoyed that jurors were absent from his court because of heavy rain that he issued a decree which stated "I hereby order that it cease raining by Tuesday."
Amazingly it stopped raining on Tuesday and California suffered a 5 year drought.
In 1991 the judge then decreed "Rain shall fall in California beginning February 27th." Later that day California had the heaviest rainfall in ten years.
- In Alexandria, Minneapolis, USA, it is against the law for a man to make love to a woman with the smell of sardines on his breath.
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